Fresh Beginnings
by VerbaVolant
Summary: Helen Magnus has her mind messed with by a bunch of abnormals and now she can't remember the reasons why she shouldn't be with Nikola. Gradual Teslen.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Sanctuary.

Nikola ran down the hall, the screams echoing in his ears as he put all his vampiric strength and as much magnetic force as he could muster into battering down the door. Henry and Will were hot on his heels but it was all they could do to keep up as he had ripped his way through the building, literally, some of the guards might not walk again. They had taken Helen, a small group of abnormals were experimenting on her and the sound of her pain had sent Nikola berserk. As he crashed through the final door he finally caught sight of the whirling machine from which the cries came.

"Stop it. Now." He growled, the Serbian accent leaking into his voice. The two men behind him lowered their blasters to emphasise the demand.

"It is almost complete." The abnormal grinned, his large violet eyes sparkling.

"Now." Nikola stepped forward his claws raised as a sobbing gasp rent the air. The machine whirred to a stop, although it hadn't seemed like the small figure had done anything to the panel beside him. As their eyes slid to find Helen Magnus it grabbed a small sphere which had been resting in a socket of the machine and scampered off, the shots from Will and Henry's blasters just a little too late as he slammed a hidden door on them. Nikola however had rushed to Helen, lifting her gently and brushing blonde curls from her face. He frowned, she had been brunette for decades, but the face was just as he remembered it. Had they restyled her hair to it's former appearance? He checked her over, she seemed otherwise unaltered, still wearing the same shirt and leather trousers he'd been ogling her butt in earlier that day. He pulled the wires from her with little popping sounds and her eyes fluttered open.

"Nikola? What happened? Where are we?"

"You don't remember? You were kidnapped." Will said as he moved to help her up and away from Tesla. He let her go sadly, standing himself. She looked down before blushing deeply and skittering behind Nikola, a hand on his shoulder.

"Where are my clothes?" She hissed in his ear, earning a surprised look from all three of the men, the grip on Nikola's shoulder became firmer when he tried to turn keeping him facing forwards.

"Magnus, you're wearing them." Will said, wondering if she'd been hurt by the machine, after all they didn't know what it did. Nikola was surprised she remained this close to him for so long, that she hadn't rushed to the protégée and more than a little concerned by the unusual behaviour.

"Where is John? Or James and Nigel?" The question, whispered and worried, spiked his fear even higher despite the way he had felt her breath against his face.

"Heinrich, fetch one of the laboratory coats from the hallway." Henry frowned, equally concerned by the odd behaviour but glad to have some way to attempt to help on the matter. "Helen, what is the last thing you remember?"

"We were in the laboratory preparing for the experiment, with..."

"The source blood?" He tried to keep his voice calm and soothing, ignored the feeling that crept up the back of his neck as he knew she glared at him for saying it aloud.

"You can't remember anything in the past century?" Will exclaimed.

"Doc, we gotta go, I think some of the guards are waking up and I swear one of them called for some back up before we put him down." Henry said as he returned holding the coat, his eyes shining with worry as he moved to offer it to her, the woman who'd practically raised him was hiding from him behind a guy she'd always sort of affectionately hated. It felt wrong. She wrapped it around herself and, still blushing, reappeared from behind Nikola.

"You shaved? It suits you." Her wide blue eyes, so innocent and trusting, as they hadn't been since Druitt, how he cursed the man. "Are you sure we can trust them?"

"We can trust Heinrich, I'm not so sure about William." Nikola replied.

"Tesla." Will growled warningly, but it was the slight concerned frown on Helen's face that really cracked him.

"You trust them." He said softly. His eyes betraying the ache of the words he didn't say 'more than me'. She picked up on it but didn't ask, a little nod was her reply and a slight biting of the lip which seemed to signal she was going to try and figure out the cause of his melancholy.

"Lead the way Heinrich." She stepped away from Tesla, towards the other two, the set to her shoulders replacing the vulnerability she had shown before as she pulled the aura of confidence and strength about her like a shield.

"It's Henry, only Tesla calls me Heinrich." Henry commented awkwardly as he turned to leave the room.

"Thank you for coming to help collect me Henry. I had an Uncle called Heinrich, we called him Henry too." She smiled at him as she came to follow at his shoulder, grabbing her gun from where it rested on the table as she did so and thumbing off the safety.

"Yeah, you named me after him." Henry said softly as he led the way.

They made it back to the car with barely an incident, only one of the guards waking up enough to get hit by a stun blast from Henry's blaster. Will hopped in the passenger seat automatically focused on the calls he needed to make. Henry took a look at Helen, who was staring at the buildings and the trail of traffic going past with barely contained awe and after sharing a look with Tesla headed for the drivers seat. Nikola held the door open for Helen who, having realised she was in danger of being left behind, hurried to get in, sliding over so that Nikola could get in after her rather than go around the car. As the engine started it startled Helen, who slid her hand into Nikola's gripping tightly for support, he squeezed back and she leaned towards him whispering.

"There's no horses, I'd seen a few of the motorised carriages before, but never so many, it really is so very far in the future, I mean my memories are of so far in the past? It is 1986?"

"Helen, it's 2012." He murmured in reply, savouring the feeling of her hand in his, even though he knew it couldn't last, her memories would return, or he'd have to track down that abnormal and beat him into giving them back. "Heinrich, when we get back you will need to change the passwords on the security system, if they have taken Helen's memories it is possibly they could use them to attempt access."

"Uh, yeah, sure, if that's OK with you Doc?"

"Me?" Helens eyes widened as she realised Henry had been talking to her. "I thought he meant you by Doc, that it was some new name you had gathered?"

"It's short for Doctor, as in Doctor Helen Magnus." Henry commented.

"Well then, yes, you should tell the guards we have need of a new pass-phrase if the old is possibly compromised." Henry glanced back to share a look with Tesla, before concentrating on the road. Helen just swallowed, her eyes having returned to the traffic outside. "How is it that we are both still as we were over a century ago? Aside from your moustache." She asked, her voice so quiet that he barely caught it.

"The blood Helen. Neither of us has aged since we took it. At least not physically." She heard the sadness in his tone and turned, looking into his eyes. "And the others, James? Nigel? John?" Her voice caught slightly on the last name and she saw his eyes darken, the pair had seldom seen eye to eye though.

"James died a few years ago." He said softly. "Nigel a few decades before that. They've been gone a while." He saw the tears which threatened to escape, she seemed so very young now, with all that had happened in her long life stripped away.

"And John?" The tremble of her lip told him she thought he was dead as well, but she was determined to hear it from him. For a moment he considered telling her Druitt was dead as well, rather than explain the truth of what had happened.

"Last I heard he was still alive." He spat the words out. "But we don't talk to him any more, he's dangerous. If you see him leave." He knew it wasn't in her nature to run, she was the kind of stubborn woman who would stand and fight, but she wouldn't know what she was up against and he couldn't, wouldn't, tell her everything that had happened between the two of them. "Please, just get away from him, any way you can, hopefully without him seeing you. Come and find me." The pleading roughened his voice. She took a breath to answer, and he held his, would she trust him over Druitt?

"Hey, I just got off the phone to Biggie, he said he'd get the medical bay set up and we can run a few tests, see what that thing did to you, whether we can fix it." Will interrupted, twisting around in his seat. Nikola almost growled in frustration as the mask to cover their vulnerabilities slid back into place for both of them, although he noticed Helens was less thorough than he was used to these days.

"Thank you, William?" Her voice rose in question at the name, unsure she'd remembered it correctly from Nikola's almost non-existent introductions.

"Yeah, Will." He dropped his eyes to the seat. "Are you two holding hands?" Helen dropped Nikola's hand immediately, her hands folding on her lap, gripping each other. Nikola glared at Will, already missing the warmth of her fingers. "You had better not be taking advantage of this whole memory loss thing and telling her you're a couple or something." Will glared back. "You know Magnus will kick your ass when she gets her memory back. Maybe shoot you again."

"Nikola? I shot you?" Helen's horrified gasp shook the pair out of their heated staring contest.

"It's okay Helen. As you can see I'm fine." He tried to be reassuring. "You've only shot me a few times and they were all after I developed the ability to heal pretty much anything." She still seemed shaken by the news. "Honestly Helen, I probably deserved most of them." Will cleared his throat. "Fine, all of them." Helen searched his face for any sign of resentment before allowing the guilt to slip off her face, her shoulders relaxing a bit. He resisted the urge to offer to massage them for her.

"He probably deserved more. Think of it as being like clipping him around the ear, except a bit more forceful because he doesn't know how to take a hint." Will added, with another glare at Nikola, which he returned for raising the topic in the first place. "Like don't go hitting on the woman with amnesia." Will directed the last bit at Tesla.

"Hitting? He has barely touched me aside from to check that I was unhurt and hold my hand in a comforting manner, mildly improper certainly but most definitely not violence." Helen bristled, angry with the young man for the suggestion.

"He means courting, it is a modern colloquialism." Warmth washed through him, as it did any time Helen stood up for him. "You know you're very attractive when you're angry." She blushed and slapped his shoulder.

"I swear you do not know the meaning of the word propriety." She smiled at him, the anger forgotten, his heart ached that somewhere in the last hundred years she had lost that smile. "Do you ever stop you attempts at flattery?" The good humoured mockery was a world away from the responses his comments had gotten more recently.

"With you? Never."

"Considering you appear to have known me for over a hundred years and are still at it I think I might believe you on that one. But I assure you it won't get you anywhere, certainly not until I know exactly what it is you have done to cause me to shoot you on multiple occasions."

"And if I was to tell you every detail, if you knew, then it might?" Nikola asked, his voice teasing but his heart in his throat, this Helen, honest and brave Helen, before her heart was smashed to pieces and every piece tortured by the abominable man she had trusted it to. She blushed, scowling at him affectionately.

"Then I suppose I'd be exactly as I was before I was kidnapped and you'd have to take your answer from that. Honestly Nikola, if we've known each other as long as you say and you have yet to wear me down I must assume there was some reason. Something you did to deserve those bullets," she swallowed but continued, "or someone who I grew fond of in a more than friendly way, or simply that I might not wish to jeopardise my relationship with my oldest friend. Just because I cannot recall the reason at the moment does not make it any the less valid." The exasperation was familiar, the same tone she often used with him but long acquaintance allowed Nikola to pick out the faintest trace of warmth instead of the usual undertones of irritation. Will on the other hand seemed to miss it, so perhaps it was merely wishful thinking on his part.

"Good." Henry spoke up. "Because I hate to have to lock you and Tesla in different rooms til we get this whole mind altering machine thing sorted. Will, could you just sit down and quit with winding Tesla up, I know we might not always like the guy but right now the dude is the only person Magnus recognises and he had to vouch for us back there so the bickering and infighting stuff has gotta be spinning her head more than it already is. Aside from which we're almost there, what do you say you head to her office and try and get a handle on things there while Biggie's taking a look at her? It might take a while to sort this out and she can hardly run the Sanctuary while she's trying to figure out how to use a computer."

"Fine. Tell me what you find out." He muttered as Henry let the machine scan his iris and they entered the vehicle entrance to the New Sanctuary.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Sanctuary.

Helen bit her lip as they entered the medical bay, resisting the urge to ask about the equipment, although Nikola could see the curiosity burning in her eyes. He caught her hand reaching out to touch one of the metallic machines only to pull it back, he raised an eyebrow in question.

"It looks intricate, I would not want someone to meddle with my equipment." She answered his unspoken question quietly.

"It is your equipment."

"All the more reason then, I don't recognise any of it, and I wouldn't want to spoil whatever it is supposed to be doing, I just wish I knew what it all was." The slight sadness underlying her frustration gnawed at him. "Oh my goodness a Sasquatch!" Helen exclaimed excitedly as Biggie came in.

"I was told." Biggie commented forestalling Henry's attempt to explain. "Helen, what is the last thing you recall?"

"The five of us were sitting in the library." Her breath caught at the realisation she wouldn't be seeing some of her closest friends again but she continued. "Nikola had raided the wine cellar again and he and Nigel were bickering over a game of cards, John and James were trying to convince me that it would be too dangerous to carry out the experiment that evening, that we should run more tests, and then I awoke in that strange place where Nikola found me."

"So the evening when you took the source blood?" Nikola asked. "1886?"

"The fifth of September." She replied, Nikola nodded.

"I'm going to need to take some blood for testing and then I'll run a brain scan, see if I can figure out what we're dealing with." Biggie commented, moving forward with the needle.

"So you're the doctor?"

"Usually you are, but you've taught me pretty well." His gruff voice held humour as Helen's eyes widened. "I won't hurt you." She held out her arm to him with barely a moment's hesitation.

They ran several tests, but Helen was able to be patient and attempted to relax as much as she could so as not to throw off the readings. Henry and Biggie explained the machines as they went, knowing her well enough to realise she'd appreciate the information. Nikola sat to one side, watching quietly, something he was not known for, but he didn't want to leave her and he didn't want to interfere and lengthen the process. His concern was an almost palpable wave, but he managed to smile every time Helen looked his way for reassurance, something which sent an ache of longing through him each time, wanting to go to her and comfort her in some way. He squashed it, as he had so many pangs over the years, Helen was not one to appreciate coddling, even back then, especially if it would get in the way of scientific investigation, irrespective of if the matter under investigation was herself.

Eventually they had taken all the samples and images they could and would have to wade through the information they had gathered in search of the answers. Biggie had said that she seemed to be fine other than the memory loss and suggested she took it easy but that there was nothing he could really do at this stage.

"Thank you, could one of you perhaps show me to my room? I assume I have one here?" Three nods. "It has been rather an unusual day and I should like to have a chance to process matters, and I wouldn't like to keep you from your duties longer than necessary."

"I'll show you." Henry and Nikola offered at the same time.

"I expect there's an experiment somewhere you are dying to get back to Nikola, I am frankly surprised you managed to stay still so long as you have waiting here, you must have matured somewhat."

"Like a fine wine, and there is nothing I cannot attend to later." Nikola said firmly, taking her hand and leading her from the room before the others could object. He escorted her to the door, having shown her how to work the elevator on the way up, and made a crack about coming in to keep her company which had brought a blush and a smile to her face before she closed the door on him. He was halfway back down the hallway when he heard the sobs, soft enough that he wouldn't have caught them if not for his vampiric hearing. He crept back along the hallway and knocked on the door, hearing a flurry of movement in response before Helen opened it a crack again, peeping around it.

"Yes?" Her voice wobbled slightly and her eyes were still moist but she did an admirable job of hiding it.

"Helen." He kept his tone gentle, but with mild accusation that she was keeping it from him, he had grown used to her emotional isolation from him but back before the source blood, before the engagement, they had been close, he played on that now, feeling guilty as he did so. "Do you want to talk?" She shook her head, eyes dropping to the floor. He waited, the silence growing between them before she sighed and pushed the door open, letting him follow her into the room as she dropped onto the couch by the foot of her bed. He joined her closing the door behind him.

"You told me they're dead. Nigel and James, my father too I assume." She didn't shrug away the arm he tentatively put about her shoulders. "I know it's most likely been a long time, and that my grief is something I should have dealt with, presumably I already have, but I feel like I saw them hours ago and they're gone."

"If it helps James did live to the ripe age of one hundred and seventy two, that's quite a long lifetime." She nodded, her eyes on her lap as the tears began to leak from her eyes again. "Nigel got married, he had children, he had his life too." A tear dropped onto her hand, he brushed it away with his spare hand, his fingers gentle, she gripped them before he could pull away, her eyes never moving from her lap.

"And John, what of him? Why is the five dwindled down to the pair of us?"

"He... went mad. Killed, in cold blood, and worse. He tried to kill you more than once. You shouldn't have to deal with his betrayal again the way you're revisiting the loss of James and Nigel." Nikola swallowed Ashley's name, she didn't need another loss to mourn, better to not know until she had to, until they restored all her memories. He didn't want to see her heart broken beyond repair as Druitt had done, scarred so much that it could no longer open itself fully for fear the pain might be repeated. How he cursed that man.

"What did he do to you?"

"To me? Nothing I couldn't heal from, put his hand through my chest once but..."

"No, you never got on, but this hatred, the darkness, just beneath your words." Her eyes shot up to meet his, searching. "He did something worse. Nikola, I need to know, what did he do to you?" Nikola suddenly couldn't face the trust there, the belief that he'd tell the truth, that open faith he'd lost for so long he'd almost forgotten she'd ever had it. He stood, moving away from her.

"You were right earlier, I really should check on the lab, make sure that Heinrich hasn't touched any of my..."

"Nikola." As much as he wanted to be his blithe usual self, to mask himself with confidence he found he couldn't, the frank way in which she asked in that one word for his trust in return for her own, his honesty.

"You loved him." He spoke to the door, almost hoping that she wouldn't hear him. "He threw it away." He left quickly, closing the door behind him and almost running to the lift, too afraid of what he might have seen if he'd been brave enough to look her in the face. Shocked Helen sat there for several long minutes, her mind slowly adjusting to the events of the past few hours.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own Sanctuary.

"As far as I can tell she's entirely normal." Biggie spoke, his voice slightly grim.

"But that's good news surely? That she's fine?" Henry asked.

"Helen Magnus isn't usually normal." Biggie replied. "She can't access the memories since 1886 because she doesn't have them, she doesn't have the mends in her bones from damage dealing with abnormals, there's no sign she ever had a child and her hair hasn't been bleached back to blonde it is just naturally that way. I can see no sign she was ever injected with the source blood." He spoke gravely.

"So the machine was like a time machine, it switched her with her past self?" Will asked.

"No I don't think it could have." Henry responded. "You can't switch her with her past self without you know, risking changing history all over again and making a paradox that she couldn't have grown up and whatever. I think they might have just kinda rewound her, turned her back into her earlier self, before the source blood."

"But she's not going to have any negative effects from the process, she'll be fine until we can reverse it?" Tesla focused on what he thought should have been the main issue.

"Well she'll start ageing again but otherwise she should be fine." Biggie replied. "I'm not sure if it can be reversed though, the only people who might know if it can..."

"Are the ones who kidnapped her." Will finished his sentence. "Well at least we know she's okay, mostly. I'll go and bring her some food, it's getting pretty late. Henry can you see if we can get any info on where they might have headed next? Tesla you try and figure out what that machine might have done to reverse time or rewind or whatever." Tesla almost argued with Will about who should take dinner to Helen, Will was entirely prepared for it, but Nikola dropped it before opening his mouth, he wasn't sure he was quite ready to face her again yet.

"I'll start the food rounds downstairs." Biggie commented just before the group dispersed.

"Helen?" Will asked as he knocked on the door.

"Yes?" He opened it to find her curled up with a book in the window seat. "Jules Verne." She smiled at him, holding it up. "I was very much hoping he'd write a third book to follow 'From the Earth to the Moon' and 'Around the Moon' and here it is, along with so many other books I must have read." She gestured to the shelves. "Was I late for dinner? I wasn't quite sure where to go?" She asked as she took in the tray, her stomach rumbling slightly. "Or evidently quite what to wear." She commented apologetically, putting the book to the side as she stood, he noticed she had opted to change into a long navy skirt that extended to the floor and a white shirt which covered her from neck to wrist while clinging just enough to show her figure.

"You look fine. We tend to be a bit busy with things so we don't really sit down to dinner, I'll show you the kitchen when I take these back ok?" He put the tray onto the table, setting out the two meals for opposite seats. "I thought we could talk for a bit, see how you're doing?" She nodded a little warily as she sat. "So, how are you coping? I'm sorry we haven't had chance to give you the tour yet."

"I think I am managing quite well all things considered." She was polite in her tone.

"You mean losing all your memories?" He probed as they began to eat, trying to push for a bit more, his psychologist training whirring in his thoughts.

"Amongst other things." Seeing he merely raised an eyebrow she continued. "It is... disorientating to lose ones memories, certainly, but what is more disturbing is that my father is dead and of my four closest friends, those I might turn to for support, two are also dead, one I am assured I no longer talk to and the other..." She quieted, not quite sure whether she could trust the young man in discussing the fact that Nikola may have been expressing feelings.

"The other is Tesla." Will finished, his prejudices against the vampire tinting his interpretation slightly. "If you ever need to talk about anything or want any support you can count on me. Henry and Biggie have both known you for decades, I mean you raised Henry, so it might be a bit hard on them dealing with the missing memories but you can trust them too, they only want what's best for you."

"Thank you." They ate in silence for a few minutes before Helen spoke again. "What happened with John do you know? Nikola seemed... reluctant to discuss it, and he was never particularly impartial on the matter to begin with."

"He wound up being infused by a creature which brought out his blood lust and... well he ended up Jack the Ripper." Her blank look prompted him to explain further. "England's most well known serial killer, the first properly documented one, he killed women, prostitutes mostly. He hid it from all of you for a while but eventually you figured it out and he disappeared, literally, went on a killing spree elsewhere."

"Nikola said something about..." She paused, almost reconsidering asking but his inquisitive look drew it out of her, "about love. With John..."

"Well he was Ashley's father so I assume that there must have been something."

"I have a son?" Her eyes went wide, she dropped her cutlery. "Where is he?"

"A daughter... Ashley's kind of a unisex name these days, and she... I'm sorry Magnus."

"She's dead as well?" Her hand went to her stomach, suddenly Helen didn't feel like eating any more. "But you still call me Magnus, not Druitt?"

"You never married him, you were only engaged, from what I heard anyway." She could only imagine what the betrayal must have felt like, even hearing it second hand it gnawed at her gut. If she had been there, lived through it, known the daughter she had apparently lost, been there for her first steps, how many times worse must it have been?

"Was there anyone else, since him?" Nikola had spoken with such longing that afternoon, surely it couldn't have broken her so very much that she had spurned romance for all these decades?

"Not in the time I've known you, you always seemed too wrapped up in your work. You told me you only took a long weekend break every seven years. I guess if you did meet anyone it probably didn't really get far." She swallowed hard forcing herself to return to her meal. Though she couldn't bring herself to speak again, replying merely politely to Will's comments. He saw that she was processing the new information and didn't press her further.

"Nikola, there you are." Helen said cheerfully as she entered his lab some hours later, around the time the others at the Sanctuary were heading to sleep. She knew he would still be up though, he always did stay up unreasonably late, a trait they had in common.

"How exactly did you find me?" He asked, looking up from his work.

"I just followed the scent of burning metal." She responded sweetly. "You do have a habit of creating some spectacular explosions out of the most harmless materials."

"Scientific discovery has its risks, but I doubt you could trace it all the way from the residential floor." He said scowling at her reminder of his failures, even if they did contribute to his brilliant successes in a roundabout way.

"Henry gave me a map." She said holding up the print out in question, which was laid out on seven sheets of paper stapled together in the corner. "It was very considerate of him. May I come in?" She asked uncertainly, still standing in the door way. "I don't want to be a imposition, you may ask me to leave, I won't be offended." His face softened at the insecurity there, Helen Magnus, sparkling and innovative pioneer of her field had been reduced to archaic by having missed the advancements of time and he could tell she felt it.

"You are always welcome in my laboratory, just be careful what you touch, as you oh so graciously pointed out thing do seem to have a tendency of exploding around me." He managed to spark another smile out of her, but he could see that she still felt useless, having been left in her room for half the day while the sanctuary staff had been busy around her. He felt more than a little guilty for not having realised sooner what she would have been going through, the isolation and, more importantly, lack of purpose must have been torturous for someone like Helen. She had always been so driven, he had never been able to discover why she felt she had to work so much harder than everyone around her. "I'm glad you came actually, I am doing some rather delicate soldering and your hands have always been so steady and precise." He was lying, he had practised enough over the decades to be as exacting as he needed to be with the soldering iron, but it would be helpful while he focused on other things, usually he would have given the work to Henry if they were working on the project together. He took the hands in question into his own, holding them up between the pair of them. "And, while it is entirely unnecessary for the task, they are also as beautifully soft and smooth as a rose petal." He added, dropping a kiss onto the back of each one before, releasing one and using the other to pull her over to a work bench. "Think of it as the opposite of one of your dissections. The piece goes in, the solder is applied, like the reverse of a scalpel, attaching rather than separating, and the parts end up as a cohesive and complicated whole."

She sat, reading through the diagram and lining up the parts neatly as he settled himself back at the next work bench over, close enough to be on hand should she need assistance but giving her space so that she wouldn't feel she was being watched or checked on.

"I know you are quite capable of this Nikola, but thank you, I was beginning to feel quite lost with so much time on my hands. As useless and ill educated as a Débutante."

"The great Dr Helen Magnus useless? Never!" He scoffed.

"But that's just it. I'm not Dr Helen Magnus, I'm just... Helen. I don't remember all those things, I just remember being in Oxford, and a woman, a pioneer simply by virtue of being there."

"This isn't like you, there will always be things you don't know yet, simply because they include matters which you think you should know doesn't change things. Remember... three months ago for you, that young lad in that biology seminar you dragged me to, with the ridiculous accent."

"Oliver Pembleton?"

"How should I know? Anyway do you remember what he said after the seminar?" Nikola asked.

"He said that I was pretty and that if I wanted to learn something I should learn to keep my mouth shut rather than the anatomy of gorilla and I might find myself a good husband." She muttered bitterly.

"And you said..." He prompted. Still carrying on with his work, as she was with hers.

"I said that the world was full of such infinite wonders that no person could hope to hold knowledge of them all but that it had not prevented them from seeking it out and that ambition which he sought to discourage in me, to learn all I could of the world, was widely considered a laudable attribute, though it may not be associated with women on the whole." Her voice grew stronger as she spoke.

"And I told him that his ill manners in attempting to tell a lady what she should do would be considered deplorable in either gender."

"You always did get in too many fights." She thought of the black eye the young man had given him before the pair were drawn apart. "But I realise what you mean, I have been wallowing in ignorance and despair at what I don't know instead of focusing on what grand new opportunities I have to learn. Even if the things I learn may not always be pleasant." He turned at that, looking at her in her pause. "William told me I had a daughter, Ashley. With John."

"You did." He turned back to his work. She could see the tension in his shoulders. "What was she like?" He relaxed somewhat at her question, that the hurt he could hear was more regret that she'd never meet her daughter than the tearing loss that had haunted her at any mention of Ashley's name before. He was also relieved that she hadn't asked why he didn't tell her, he hoped she knew it was an attempt to protect her from losses she didn't need to feel.

"She was beautiful, like her mother, hardly a trace of Druitt, thank heavens, apart from her eyes." He thought of the hints that had hid in them, her eyes had been similar to Johny's alright, they were the eyes of a killer, but Helen didn't need to know that, the girl had her reasons. "She grew up in the Sanctuary, alongside your wolf boy Heinrich, he knew her better than I did, but what a little wildcat she was, a warrior, she died protecting the ones she loved." Protecting Helen, but she didn't need that guilt, he'd have to be sure to mention the details to be omitted to Heinrich, and have a word with Dr Expendable about keeping his mouth shut on some things.

Despite the awkward topics they had begun with the pair worked into the early morning, Helen's nimble fingers completing piece after piece as he focused on developing the designs. They spoke as they worked, discussing all kinds of things, the wide use of Tesla's Alternating Current, Helen's development of the Sanctuary Network, Hollow Earth, the World Wars, Women's Rights, it seemed as though now that she had adjusted her view point she was determined to catch up on as much as possible as quickly as possible. It reminded him of the conversations they'd had back when they were the outsiders at Oxford, the ones expected to lag behind, to be unable to keep up, both determined to shine, to force their brilliance into the faces of the world. It was rather more one sided than it had been, but her questions were as insightful as ever.

As ever her body, attractive as it was, was not quite so impressive as her mind, he caught her stifling a yawn and remembered that while she may never have needed as much sleep as many people she had still needed more before the injection of the source blood than after, and certainly more than his vampiric body asked for.

"You should go to sleep Helen."

"I'm fine." She insisted, stubborn as ever.

"At least take a break then, or you'll finish them all and I'll have to be leaning over you to draw the designs as you're building them." He smiled lopsidedly at her before continuing, hoping to take some of the sting of asking her to stop away with humour. "Not that I'd mind standing that close behind you as you work." He winked. She hid another yawn, which made him raise an eyebrow.

"Oh very well, I'll take a little break, rest my hands a little. But not for long." She said firmly and he smirked, knowing he'd won the argument.

"There's a comfortable couch over there." He gestured.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Sanctuary.

"Hey Nikola!" Henry called, bursting into the laboratory where the vampire was still working. "We can't find..."

"Shhh!" Nikola gestured to the couch behind him.

"Oh." Henry whispered. "There she is." She stirred sleepily beneath the blanket he had placed over her. "It's ok, I've found her." He spoke to the radio.

"Why are you whispering?" Will replied.

"James? Nigel? Why are you using those ridiculous accents?" Helen murmured as she wiped sleep from her eyes. "Oh." Nikola saw the pain sweep in as the peace of sleep was replaced by recollection of the day before.

"Because, Protégée, Helen was asleep, next time a team mate whispers to you on the radio you would be advised to whisper in reply, if Mr Foss had been hiding you would have given away his position." Nikola snapped into the radio.

"Henry just went to find you so we could look for her, what's she doing in your room." The accusation in his tone caused Nikola's back to tighten and he could feel the strain of containing his vampiric side. As if after all these years pursuing Helen he would seek the first opportunity to indulge his carnal nature, as if her body was the thing he valued most about her. Not that he couldn't imagine it right now with an intense longing that reminded him of the blood lust he had felt when he first turned, the same longing he always had for Helen, but there was no way he'd throw away years of friendship for one brief moment of ecstasy, no matter how tempting. Before he could gather himself enough to make an appropriate reply Helen interrupted them.

"May I speak with William?" Her tone was cold, he could see an icy reflection of his anger in the depths of her eyes. He handed the radio over silently, not sure he could trust himself to speak.

"You push the button on the side to talk and release it to hear a response." Henry said helpfully.

"I do not appreciate the assumptions you make about my character Mr..."

"Zimmerman." Henry prompted.

"Zimmerman. I came to Nikola's laboratory, and when I grew tired he was nothing but a gentleman. I do not know what opinion you have held of me before this event, but I am not the kind of woman to enter dalliances lightly, and I am quite capable of making my own decisions on such matters. You are not my father," Henry and Nikola both winced at the pain that flashed in her eyes at mentioning him, "nor are you my husband, you yourself assured me I did not have one, and as such your interference into my moral well being, though well intentioned, is unwarranted. Furthermore, although I do not know what interactions you have had with him in the past that may cause such an opinion, I must express my intense displeasure at the suspicion with which you treat Nikola, aside from a few suggestive comments he has been nothing but proper with me, you on the other hand presume to invite yourself to my bedchamber for a meal. I am aware such familiarity may have been the usual between us so I overlooked the impropriety but you should be aware that of the pair of you I trust him absolutely, you I do not know, please bear that in mind."

The two men stood in shocked silence at Helen's out pouring, Nikola had a wicked urge to applaud, it reminded him so fiercely of the way she'd dealt with those idiots at Oxford who had judged her for being a woman, or him for being a Serb, or them both for the amount of time they had spent together, even if much of it had been shared with the other members of the five.

"Uh, Magnus, you have to let go of the button." Henry finally said.

"Oh." Her mood switched suddenly to embarrassment as she finally released the call button, handing the radio back to Henry.

"...but you have to admit he's been pretty shady at times." William's voice issued from the handset. She looked at it with disgust.

"Most of the time he's a good guy." Henry commented apologetically. "He just has a bit of a prejudice against Tesla, I don't think it helped the first time they met Tesla called him the group's necessary disposable item." Tesla shrugged as Helen raised an eyebrow at him for the comment.

"Yes, well, that's really no excuse for his assumptions but I suppose I was a little harsh, I had only just woken up after all."

"I think you were entirely justified, and positively magnificent. Have I mentioned how beautiful you look when you're angry?" Nikola winked at her as he spoke.

"Several times, not to mention the ones I've forgotten." Helen smiled despite herself.

"To be fair I think he kinda needed to hear it." Henry added, ignoring the voice buzzing from the radio, as he'd turned the volume down. "You have a point, as much as we might feel like we know you, you don't know us, but you know and trust Tesla, and while I wouldn't trust him too much, you're pretty much the only one who can control him." Henry ignored the insulted look Nikola sent his way and continued. "Also we don't know this you, we don't use the same manners you're used to and we don't know how much your life has changed you, but you're still Helen Magnus, and I still trust you, even if Will seems to think your judgement might be impaired."

"Thank you Henry." Helen looked into the young HAP's eyes. "For having such faith in me, I needed to hear that." She smiled warmly. "I am very sorry I cannot remember more of our time together but I am glad to learn that I raised such a caring and intelligent young man."

"I should see about breakfast." Henry commented, blushing fiercely as he hurried out the door.

"Surely I have praised him before?" Helen asked Nikola confused.

"Yes but you raised him like a son, knowing that you feel that way without practically being his mother, well that's a whole other level of approval, besides Heinrich flusters easily." He held out a hand for her. "Shall we go down to breakfast?"

"Thank you Nikola, but I should probably freshen up first." She tried to brush the wrinkles from sleeping on it out of the skirt and pushed some of the stray hairs from her bun back into place. "I must look a sight."

"Nonsense, you are quite adorable, if you want a sight you should have seen yourself when you began to snore a few hours ago." He quipped, earning himself a slap on the arm.

"I do not snore."

"How would you know? You were asleep." Helen glared at him for that comment as she left the room to change.

It didn't take long for Helen to end up in the Kitchen, laughing with Henry as he showed her how to work a modern stove and make pancakes, he joked that it was their super secret pancake recipe as they added cinnamon and white chocolate to the mix, dropping chopped apple onto the top of the batter when it was in the pan before folding it to create a fruity filling.

"What exactly was the point in making yourself presentable only to go and smear flour on your face?" Nikola asked as he crept up behind the pair.

"Nikola!" Helen smiled as she spun around to face him. "Would you like some? They're almost ready. Henry taught me how to make them."

"I was only returning the favour, it's your recipe after all." He grinned, sliding another piece of folded battery goodness onto the large plate, he set the pan to the side as he grabbed some small plates from the cupboard and cutlery to go with them.

"I would love some." Nikola replied sitting as Helen put the large plate in the middle of the table. They had finished eating and Henry and Nikola were discussing their plans for the day when the sound of the doorbell echoed from the hallway. Frowning Henry grabbed his tablet from the table, pulling up an image of the camera on the doorstep.

"What the hell is he doing here?" He rose heading towards the door. Curious what would have provoked that reaction Nikola trailed after as Helen began to clear the table.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Sanctuary.

Helen could hear arguing as she set the dishes to the side to dry.

"You think you can just show up here, out of the blue and just expect her to want to talk to you?" That was clearly Nikola, she could imagine him, back straight, eyes burning at the target of his ire.

"She's had a bit of a rough few days, look perhaps you should just come back next week or something?" Henry commented, his tone protective but attempting to placate the unwanted visitor. Helen hovered near the door, not wanting to interrupt but not quite sure what to do next.

"I need to see her." The voice was familiar.

"She doesn't need to see you." Nikola spat back as Helen burst through the door behind them.

"John!" She shouted happily, it felt like a dagger to Nikola's heart that she'd sound so pleased to see him, he always felt a little inadequate around John Druitt, the man she had chosen over him. She ran forward a few steps before remembering the things she had been told and slowing to a walk. "What are you doing here?" Instead of the firm cautious tone he was expecting from her this was softer, still cautious but less accusatory.

"Helen, I am so glad to see you survived that explosion, not to mention following Adam into that portal." He pushed his way past the frustrated pair which had met him to go to her.

"If you do anything to her." Nikola growled quietly.

"Not that I often find reason to use your words Nikola," he said smugly "but I have no reason to do her any harm, but you, I'm finding more reasons by the minute." The final phrase came out a threatening growl.

"John." Helen's tone was firm and disapproving. "I would appreciate it if the pair of you could at least attempt to be civil." She put as much authority into it as she could, not quite managing to reproduce the confidence Helen exuded these days but still the commanding tone they had always responded to in her. "Henry could you please show John into the living room, Nikola if you could help me with the tea." The comments were not requests, despite the phrasing, and with a parting glare the men followed her instructions. As soon as they were out of ear shot Helen asked Nikola nervously, "Henry will be fine with John won't he?"

"Yes, but I don't know why you let him in the house, the man is nothing but trouble." Nikola grumbled, growing even more upset at the affection she was showing the young HAP, just as before he felt he was being forced to share her attention, forced to watch her choose others over him.

"Because the whole purpose of a Sanctuary is that it is there for those that need it, whoever they are, whatever they may have done. If this place is dedicated to helping abnormals who am I to turn him away? Surely there must be some creature here as dangerous?"

"Well I suppose having a vampire and a werewolf on site should help us deal with him if he tries anything." Nikola tried for humour as he found the tea set for her. Helen was rummaging in the cupboards.

"I thought vampires were extinct? Anyway that is precisely my point, if they can fit in here well I'm not sure why we can't find a way to handle John if need be. Could we go and see them after this, I've always rather wanted to meet a vampire?" Helen asked as she put the box of biscuits she had found on the side and slid past Nikola where he was filling the milk jug from the bottle in the fridge to get the matching plates from the cupboard with the tea set.

"You're planning to have tea with both of them." He said as she turned back to face him, smirking at the look on her face.

"You and Henry? Which..."

"I'm the vampire." He said, eyes and teeth shifting slightly, he was glad for his reflexes in steadying the plates before she dropped them.

"Oh." Helen swallowed hard. "Splendid." He could see her trying to absorb it then mentally putting it aside to deal with later. "Then we shouldn't have any troubles, although it might mean I can't just make you a cup of that vile coffee to keep you occupied as we have tea?" She mused, as she filled the larger plate with biscuits and put them on the tray.

"I'll be fine." He put Henry's coffee on the tray and added a wine glass, pulling out the bottle of wine which had been stashed behind the biscuits rather than in the wine cellar to try and hide it from him, it was a particularly good vintage Helen probably intended to save for a special occasion but he figured he deserved it for attempting to be polite to John.

"Before we go in, what explosion is he talking about?"

"About a month ago the old building you used blew up, but you'd moved pretty much everything here already. You were sent back in time to stop Adam Worth from messing with the time line and had to come back the long way so you had plenty of time to prepare." He would have gone into more detail but they didn't really have the time right now.

"I see." Helen saw Nikola pick up the tray, the bottle under one arm so she held the door for him and they made their way to the living room, where Henry and John were sitting in awkward silence. "John, milk and two sugars?" Helen asked as she poured a cup once they had put everything on the table.

"Yes thank you." He responded as Henry helped himself to the coffee and Tesla opened the wine.

"So to what do we owe the visit?" She asked politely, if a little coolly as she passed him the cup. Will burst in as he took it, causing the slightest tremble to make a drop of tea run down the side of the cup into the saucer, but nobody mentioned it.

"Why are you here?" He asked Druitt straight away.

"That was what we were about to discuss, thank you for joining us William, would you care for a cup?" Helen's precise and proper Victorian manners helping her to remain calm while trying to figure out exactly how to behave with John, of course John knew her well enough to pick up on a few things over the years.

"Dr Zimmerman drinks coffee, what exactly is going on here Helen? First you actually sound glad to see me, and while I am certainly not complaining it's hardly in keeping with the usual way I'm greeted here, then you ask Nikola to help you with the drinks when you know he's not known for the time he spends in the kitchen and you put out biscuits."

"Yes well you weren't expected so we didn't have any scones in, I wasn't going to make sandwiches..." She trailed off as his eyes narrowed. "There was a little incident involving a kidnapping and I may have lost some of my memory." She muttered under his stare, a stare that hadn't worked on Helen in decades.

"How much memory?" He asked sitting forward, anger and excitement in his voice.

"It really isn't any of your concern Johnny." Nikola said, his hand squeezing Helen's shoulder briefly in support. "And you still haven't answered our question, why are you here?"

"I heard about the explosion and I was concerned, I have only just found out where your new location was or I would have come sooner. Please Helen, let me stay, at least until you have recovered, let me help you find these people."

"Thank you John. As you can see I am fine, aside from a few issues which I'm sure we'll sort out, I may have lost my memory but I have been told of your... proclivities." John glared at Nikola, who smirked. "I know that trusting you, as I might have a long time ago, would likely be unwise and a risk to both my health and that of those around me."

"Helen, please, I have it under control now, the electroshock therapy can keep it entirely dormant, believe me I only want the best for you."

"No John. In the absence of proof, and with the safety of so many here relying on my judgement I must be wary. I will not prohibit you from visiting, but I would appreciate being warned first, and if you wish to spend time on the premises then you will have to accept any restrictions to access that my team considers appropriate. If you want to stay..."

"You can't." Nikola said gloatingly, with a small nod echoing his feeling from Henry and Will.

"Is there some secure room? Some place we might use for potentially dangerous creatures which can be made comfortable."

"Well there's the SHU, the special housing unit, I suppose we could put some things in one of the rooms to make it more people friendly." Henry said, hesitation in his voice.

"You can't plan on letting him stay here?" Will asked.

"It's a Sanctuary, for all abnormals, not just the ones you like William." Helen said firmly, before turning back to John. "I don't want you to set foot within five feet of any female residents while you are here, and you are not to leave your rooms unescorted by a member of the Sanctuary staff."

"You'd lock me up? Helen?" He pleaded coaxingly. Nikola could see her face harden as she forced herself not to give in to it.

"If you are not happy with the arrangements you do know where the door is, I would be happy to show you out." She sipped at her tea, feigning a lack of concern, and even though both John and Nikola could see the tightness of her shoulders which spoke otherwise.

"You expect me to consent to being shut away in a cell and forgotten about?" His tone had shifted from coaxing to bitter.

"I doubt I could ever forget about you John." The softness sliced at Nikola's already aching heart and seemed to bring hope to John's face. "But I cannot allow my personal emotions to effect my judgement on the matter. Those are the terms until such time as you can satisfy everyone here that you are not a threat."

"Good luck convincing me." Nikola smirked, Helen sighed.

"Except Nikola, as he is showing himself to be biased on the matter. Biggie will have take the position of the third arbiter." She was sorry to see his face fall but she had asked him to behave, she tried to transmit this with her expression but she didn't think he read it. "It is entirely your choice. You may stay here, and uphold your offer to help locate the kidnappers, and I am sure that we will be able to find use for you, and I will do my utmost to ensure your stay is as comfortable as possible given the parameters I have laid out or you may leave, if you do leave I will remind you that I asked for warning of future visits, barring emergencies, and my day when I will be at home to visitors will be Wednesdays between two and five, unless I am needed elsewhere." Nikola recalled the stiff formal tone from when Helen was at her most stressed and moved to stand behind her, his hand resting once again on her shoulder, only realising afterwards the pleasant side effect of the jealous glare sent from John. Which rather spoiled the intention behind the move. Helen let out a long sigh, John seemed to realise the effect they were having on her and gave up on glaring at Tesla, instead looking at Helen, his eyes softening as he moved to take her hand, setting her cup on the table.

"Helen, would it be acceptable for me to visit at three tomorrow afternoon to discuss the progress in seeking out your attackers and any plans to avenge the insult perpetrated upon your person by them? And perhaps after the meeting we might take tea and discuss the matters surrounding my actions in the past, to give you a more rounded perspective on the matter." He dredged up every scrap of the Victorian gentleman he had once been, she could see the polite young man she had known and perhaps cared for a little (which in modern terms might have been called a crush) showing through the angry and controlling man he seemed to have become.

"Provided that fits into their schedules I don't see a problem with that. William?"He pressed a kiss to her palm at her response, one that sent a flash of warmth through her, colour rising to her cheeks, although it soured in her mouth.

"I can arrange it, but are you sure you want to? I mean we can handle it without him."

"I'm sure you can but I would rather you not be required to. There are very few people who cannot help in some way if they put their mind to it and, while I may not be as certain as I might like of what John is now capable of," she let the secondary meaning referring to his murderous nature slip into her tone, "I am quite sure that he is capable of furthering our efforts should he choose to. Shall I show you to the door?" She asked Druitt, standing and subtly removing her hand from his as she did so, there was something in his touch that made her skin tingle, but the fluttering of butterflies she had felt at their casual touches before combined with the prickles of warning at some kind of danger in a way that left her feeling uncomfortable. She also slid out from under Nikola's hand on her shoulder which was a whole other collection of confusing feelings she would have to address later.


	6. Chapter 6

I do not own Sanctuary.

Helen closed the door quietly, resting her back against it and breathing deeply, her eyes closed for a moment before straightening up, and coming into direct eye contact with Nikola, who seemed furious. His eyes burning though his face was carefully blank. Without speaking he turned on his heel, stalking back to his workshop, with a worried look Henry hurried after him. Will sighed.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"You're letting John manipulate you again. Not to mention the trouble Tesla's likely to cause dealing with all this." They sat back down, finishing their drinks, Nikola's half empty wine glass seemed to be vaguely accusatory as it sat on the table.

"I am only trying to uphold the principles my father taught me, I know that perhaps he does not deserve another chance, I can only imagine how many he's had, but that doesn't mean I should be the kind of person who would not give him the opportunity to attempt some level of redemption." He could hear the uncertainty in his voice, and reminded himself that this Helen was so much younger than the one he was used to dealing with. "I have done all I could to minimise the risks without actually refusing to allow him to help. I partnered compassion with caution to the best of my ability."

"And you're certain your feelings for Druitt had no part in it?" Will asked wryly.

"I think certainty is a bit much to ask, but I honestly believe that were it any other person with a similar history I might have done the same. Clearly, just from having seen the way he and Nikola behave there is evidence that people change, in some cases that may be for the worse but it may also be for the better, and I would not feel right in denying him the opportunity to do so." Her voice was soft but there was the undercurrent of certainty, that she felt that whatever the reasoning or the risks her decision had its own inherent morality. "I am sorry that it upset Nikola though."

"Yes well, he's had a hopelessly one sided crush on you for over a century, I'm sure he'll recover, after making Henry's life hell for a few days and drinking far too much wine."

"Oh dear, of course he would interpret it that way... he always was far too sensitive on some matters." Helen mused, mostly to herself.

"Tesla sensitive?" Will asked, which earned him a glare.

"I asked him what John did to spark such intense hatred, they never got on well but they could at least tolerate each other, it may surprise you but he was not an easy person to like." She managed a slight smile as Will chuckled. "He said it was because John discarded my affections. Of course Nikola won't focus on the moral imperatives behind my decision, he will view it as lavishing my attentions upon a man he considers deeply unworthy, and being Nikola it will only lead to him feeling that I hold him in such low regard as to reject him in favour of John, despite his history and failings. He hides it well but he is not so secure as he may appear."

"I suppose I can see that." Will said contemplatively, he'd never really thought of Tesla as having feelings, other than his obsessive lust for Helen. "But really he does need to get it through his head that you're out of his league." She raised an eyebrow questioningly. "You're too good for him, and definitely too good for Druitt."

"It is very nice of you to say so, but who am I not too good for William? You?"

"Well... erm... I'm with Abby."

"I'm merely pointing out that there may be some bias in your own arguments." She smirked at the flustered Will. "I think I should speak with Nikola, as you commented he is likely to be unpleasant company otherwise and Henry will bear the brunt of his temper." She rose, beginning to to gather the tea things together. "Thank you for accepting my decision on the matter of John, I understand it must have been difficult for you to decide whether to trust my judgement or not given my lack of recent personal experience and I am glad that you chose to respect my opinion. I am sorry that I spoke harshly with you earlier, while I will not apologise for the sentiment, I do regret the severity of my manner of speaking, I had only recently awoken and was out of temper but that does not excuse my venting of such frustrations upon you."

"It's okay, you were right, I really shouldn't have made assumptions like that. I'll get these, you go speak to Tesla. Oh and Magnus? You're right, you should be with whoever makes you happy, whether they deserve you or not, you deserve that, just be careful will you? They're not the same people you once knew." His voice held a note of resignation as well as concern.

"Thank you William. I will do my best to bear that thought ever at the forefront of my mind, it is a fact that I fully intend to remind Nikola of." She picked up the bottle and his wine glass before leaving the room.

"What exactly did you think you were doing?" Nikola shouted at Henry. "All I asked you to do was to reverse the polarity of the platinum coils in the isomodular array and re-harmonise the ignition capabilities."

"Dude, that's what I did, it doesn't work."

"Well it would have worked if you had done it right, and don't call me 'dude' you semi-fluent butcher of the English language." He snapped.

"Nikola?" Helen interrupted from the doorway, much to Henry's relief. "Could I have a word with you for a moment?"

"Can't you see I'm busy? I clearly have to do everything around here." She ignored the way he turned from her, entering the room and moving to stand beside him at the work bench, Henry moved out of the way.

"You forgot your wine." She put the glass down gently, the bottle beside it.

"Thank you." He grumbled, downing the wine and reaching to refill it. She put her hand on his as it fell on the bottle, stopping him. "Why bring it down here if you don't mean for me to drink it?"

"I mean for you to drink it but I had a few questions I wish to ask you." He narrowed his eyes but didn't pull away, so taking a deep breath Helen continued. "If I were to offer you a bottle of Port or a bottle of Zinfandel which had been pressed a year ago which would you choose?"

"You want to ask me about wines?" His irritable confusion was still an improvement on the black mood he had shown before. He couldn't read the meaning behind her question but he could tell there was probably more to it than the surface interpretation. "The Zinfandel, the Port would be too young."

"And if they had been pressed a hundred years ago?"

"The Port. If this is some round about way to tell me you've a hidden bottle of hundred year old port you want to offer me..."

"Why the port?"

"Because the Zinfandel would be vinegar and the Port would be aged." He commented, still confused.

"The Port would have improved and the Zinfandel declined with the passage of time. Your choice would not be the same after the changes as it would have before. Perhaps you should consider how such alterations and their effects on decisions might extend beyond wines." Her hand released his and she stepped away from the bench.

"What exactly do you mean by that Helen?" He asked as she walked towards the door.

"As you so often tell me Nikola, you are a genius, I'm certain you will work it out. In the meantime if you could try not to be too unpleasant to Henry I would consider it a personal favour." Henry smothered a laugh at the puzzlement on Nikola's face as Helen left.

"What exactly are you smirking at wolf boy? Lets get back to work." While he was still grouchy it had faded to his usual snarky attitude as the part of his mind which had been focused internally upon possible reasons why Helen might not like him was redirected to assessing the metaphor she had so kindly dropped in his lap unexplained. Henry heaved a sigh of relief, silently thanking Helen for having rerouted the genius's thought processes, though he had to say Helen was one area that Tesla was definitely not a genius in, Henry wasn't sure how the guy was so clueless that he hadn't figured out what Helen meant by her talk about wine.


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own Sanctuary.

It was a surprisingly peaceful day in the lab, nothing exploded, Tesla barely snapped at him at all and Henry felt they'd actually got rather a lot done. Still it couldn't last forever, so when at about seven in the evening Tesla threw the piece he had been working on across the room and shouted "Blast that woman!" for no apparent reason Henry considered it only to be expected.

"You alright?" He asked as nonchalantly as possible as he went to pick up the pieces from where the had fallen against the wall.

"No. That devilish harlot from Camden of a teasing hussy practically throws herself at Druitt and then leaves me a puzzle about wines, when I know that if there was anything over fifty years old in that cellar I would have found and drunk it by now. I refuse to believe that in the short amount of time she's been here she would have found a vintage I haven't so clearly it must mean something else." He frowned, spinning away from his work bench and throwing himself down on the couch with melodramatic ease.

"You know if you want me to help you figure it out..."

"Thank you Heinrich but I am a genius, I'm sure I can cope." The patronising tone in his voice made Henry reconsider helping the vampire, and with a smirk he turned back to his work bench. "I just need to figure out what she meant by it extending beyond wines..." he mused, mostly to himself, "I can't think of anything else which would still improve after such a large window of time..."

"You might be a brilliant scientist and all but you really are crap at understanding women." Henry muttered.

"And I suppose you know precisely what she meant by her comments." Nikola commented sarcastically.

"Yeah, it's not exactly that tricky. Just look at the context, you said yourself it came right after meeting with Druitt."

"You mean to say that she's trying to tell me that just as the Port might mature and improve we should give that bastard the benefit of the doubt? Well I'd as soon she'd just come out and say it so I could tell her that I will do no such thing to her face." Nikola said, standing up to storm out the room.

"He's not the Port dude." Henry laughed. "Now I know how you feel when you're explaining the theory behind your things."

"I doubt that." Tesla bristled, straightening his jacket.

"To Will." Henry added, earning an extra glare. "She chose Druitt before right?" Tesla made to interrupt but Henry continued quickly. "And you think that means she'd totally hook up with him again if he really is cured of the bloodthirsty possession thing. But you wouldn't drink vinegar right?" The look of realisation finally came over his face.

"You mean to say...?"

"I wouldn't say she's absolutely into you but she's definitely pointing out that you guys are very different than you used to be and that it might not be the same now as it was then."

"I'm the Port..." Nikola almost whispered to himself. His mind racing over every nuance of the conversation from earlier, the explanation fitted the evidence, but he couldn't quite bring himself to believe that it was necessarily the right conclusion to reach... did he dare hope that such a message lay behind her words?

"I think it's more that you could be, if you tried. I mean you shouldn't take it as a given, that she'd definitely get together with you, but it's a hint that she knows enough to judge you two by who you are now, not then and it might turn out differently. If she'd decided she was going to be with you she'd probably have I don't know, done something." Henry gestured vaguely, rapidly shifting from amused to uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. He became even more unnerved by the look on Tesla's face just before he hurried out the room, Henry almost called him back, but decided Helen probably knew what she was doing in provoking this kind of reaction. When he realised a few minutes later that he wasn't sure if anyone had mentioned Tesla's abilities to Helen, that she might not be expecting the strength and determination of a vampire, not to mention the other aspects of his condition, Tesla was nowhere to be seen. Worried he hurried up to Helen's room, but Helen and Will were having dinner together again, his words tumbled over each other as he explained the situation, but Helen seemed unphased, listening to his story with a smile before ushering both men out of her room.

It was a few hours later when Nikola eventually showed up at her door. He was perhaps more nervous than he had been in decades, his mind was drawn back to his first day at Oxford, the tang of fear he had tasted at the back of his throat in meeting so many Englishmen, knowing they would look down on him for his background yet hoping that he might find friends there despite that. Then the sight of a woman in a red dress hurrying through the autumn leaves had distracted him from his concerns, now that same woman was the source of them, it seemed somewhat ironic. He raised his hand to knock, paused, considered breaking in as he had to Helen's rooms before, thought again, hesitated, unsure quite what approach to take.


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own Sanctuary.

Helen could swear she heard someone in the hallway, she was slowly sliding open her bedside table to get her gun as quietly as possible when there was a knock. Recognising it she gave a small sigh of relief.

"It's open Nikola." She marked the page in the book she was reading and set it aside as he opened the door.

"Not locking your door before you retire Helen? That's practically an invitation." He grinned, leaning against the door post to look at her. She took in the slight dampness of his hair, the large basket under one arm, the blanket draped over it. Her eyes lit up with that mischievous sparkle he loved so well. She grabbed the long dressing gown that rested by the side of the bed, pulling it around her as she stood, covering the long white night dress, which itself was more substantial than most outfits these days, and yet despite, or perhaps because of, its modesty he found it intriguing, found his eyes slipping to the glimpse of bare ankle and delicate little toes. She hurried over to the doorway, leaning close enough to feel her warmth as she peered up and down the hallway.

"Did Ja..." The name trailed off, the familiar question as to whether their observant friend had seen him cut short as she realised the only people who might have seen him coming to her room would not think to judge her for it, his room after all was further down the same hall, not the floor beneath and much separated as it had been when he had stayed at their place before, the familiarity of her room, designed so like the one she had before, had almost allowed her to forget what the hallway reminded her vividly, that they were no longer in her father's house. She swallowed, easing back into her room, realising how close they were to one another, a careless intimacy they had shared many times with her concern only for how it might appear to others, not to the man in front of her. He could see the tension in her shoulders loosen as she visibly and deliberately released it, refusing to remain awkward and focusing on the current. "Not quite an invitation though, and I'm sure I read somewhere that vampires have to be invited." She grinned cheekily, knowing it was likely false, he began to scowl at the reference before recognising the tone.

"Vampires might not need an invitation but gentlemen do." He murmured.

"Since when are you a gentleman Nikola?" She stood two feet from the door, not blocking his way but not gesturing for him to enter either. "Give me one good reason why I should invite you in." Her eyes flickered to the basket and he smiled.

"I brought snacks." He raised an eyebrow as he said the words, thinking back to the first time he had sneaked up to Helen's room late at night. She had been scandalised about what the others might think, until he pointed out that making him stand in the hallway would only make it more likely that they'd be seen. The four of them, James, Helen, Gregory and himself, had gone to the park earlier in the day and he'd seen the way she'd been distracted while James had been discussing the pigeons with Gregory, usually he'd have been interested in the conversation but something in the slightly wistful air about her made him focus on what had captured her attention. There were a pair of women talking, it was when one offered to visit the other to help style her hair that the tiny frown had appeared on Helen's face and he realised he had never seen her spending time with other women. The parting comment had been 'I'll bring some muffins and you can make hot chocolate and tell me all about Jonathan, I saw the way you two were looking at each other.' Helen had shaken her head and turned back to the conversation between Gregory and James, but not before Nikola caught the traces of envy in her expression, that was what had prompted him to sneak down to the kitchens and then to her rooms, to share his edible plunder. He had been unable to bear the thought of Helen wanting anything she couldn't have and was determined to resolve the matter as best he could. When he had shown her the tea and biscuits he had brought up she had relented, in part because he had brought tea not wine, and he was gradually able to convince her to let him curl her hair for her, though she usually did it herself he enjoyed the intimacy.

"Well in that case." She smirked, clearly thinking of the same thing. "Why don't you come inside for a little while? As long as you promise to behave." The playful reprimand was also familiar.

"And if I promise not to?" His leer was not part of their pattern, he had been so careful not to jeopardise their friendship, so grateful for the trust she put in allowing him in, and in letting him take such little liberties with her, it was something new and she bit her lip, eyes suddenly wary and appraising as she took a careful look at his body language. He was afraid he might have pushed too fast but he would not repeat the mistake he had made in his youth of failing to make his feeling abundantly clear to Helen, it was a source of regret that despite having fallen so very deeply for her he hadn't mentioned it before she became interested in Druitt, and that when she had told him, while eating a biscuit as he brushed out her hair, of her interest in a classmate he had felt so unsuitable and inferior a match to her as to remain silent. That had been the last time he visited her like this, until now. For him it had been well over a century, for her a matter of months, but he still felt warmed and more than a little guilty at the look in her eyes as she replied.

"I missed this Nikola." She stepped closer, her fingers twisting nervously with each other. "I... I'm not certain of very much right now, with all that has happened." Her eyes were fixed on his tie pin as she came to a stop bare centimetres from him. "I do not know how awful I will feel if I turn you away but I am not ready to commit myself either, and while I am aware that standards of behaviour have changed, I..." She looked up into his eyes then, tears trembling on the lower lashes as she silently begged him to understand.

"Then I will have to promise to behave myself while in your room." He tried to keep his voice light, as if it had merely been a joke between them, to ease the pressure which had settled in his chest at the subtle combination of gentle rebuff and sweet encouragement in her statement. Leaning down the small distance he had always considered perfectly convenient in Helen he whispered into her ear, "But I'm not yet in your room." He felt her shiver as he tucked his fingers under her chin, the lightest pressure of his index finger lifting it yet careful not to hold her, so she could escape back to the agreed upon safety of her room at any time, he pressed his lips to hers, surprised to find her soft mouth responding as her fingers traced from under his ear along his jawline before she slowly pulled away. She stepped back into her room, one hand resting on her stomach and the other by her mouth, eyes wide, he could see the nervousness, the war between the Victorian sensibilities that warned that allowing a man into your room after such a kiss might imply more than she wanted and the part of her which needed him to be her friend, whatever else he might end up becoming to her as well. He swallowed at the naked fear on her features, of how he would respond, he stepped forward into the room. "Have I got a treat for you this evening." His voice came out tight so he cleared his throat and tried again, attempting to infuse it with the glow of affection he felt for her while pushing his desire aside for the moment. "I made Dobos Torta." He waggled his eyebrows, lifting the lid of the hamper just enough for her to see the chocolaty buttercream of the top of the cake.

"You cooked?" Her voice also sounded a little breathy as she closed the door behind him, he hid the smile the sound of it brought to his face by turning from her toward the table where he set down the hamper.

"I have picked up a few skills in the past few decades, it's only fair that as the minx who helped me get so much free time you should reap some of the benefits." He slipped out of the jacket, hanging it on the back of one of the chairs and loosened his tie before opening the basket and beginning to pull various sweets and pastries from it.

"You made all of these? I guess that explains where you've been the past few hours. I had thought when Henry came hurrying in that you weren't likely to be too far behind, but I must say..." she took a bite of a baklava, "this was definitely worth waiting for." Nikola thought about the kiss in the doorway, the openness of her expression, the years he had spent missing the closeness they had shared, the sheer enjoyment shining in her eyes and the possibility in her words earlier that day and found his reply was shaded with a depth of meaning beyond the usual.

"It most certainly was."


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own Sanctuary.

Warning: Angsty...

Helen struggled to keep her eyes open as she leaned back against Nikola's knees, his hands gently teasing through her hair, the sensation so reassuringly soothing and yet every slight touch of his long and graceful fingers tingled against her skin with the awareness that, as innocent as the gestures might be, there was desire deep within them. The closeness, while exactly as it had been before, felt somehow more intimate, more personal, adding another layer to the already complex nature of their friendship. Even though it made her head spin and a knot form at the base of her ribcage, and a small voice kept telling her that there was no way her father would approve of his courting her, especially in such an improper manner, it still felt oddly right. Nikola had always felt right in a way, his humour had always brought a smile to her face and his tenderness, made all the more special by how rarely he showed it, had made her feel special and precious. Perhaps the reason she had never considered him as a prospect back then, aside from his Serbian heritage, was he had been so emotionally free with her, giving himself and asking for nothing in return other than to be a part of her life, it had felt so right she'd never questioned if the part he had was the one he wanted, or even if it was the part she wanted him to have.

Still in a few days they would likely reverse whatever had been done to her, the person that she was now would revert to the person she had become and she'd be gone, not dead just changed fundamentally, and her thoughts on the matter might be entirely different. She struggled with the lump that caught in her throat at the thought, it was hard thinking about not knowing how much time she would have with Nikola like this before that happened, the feeling of desperate longing, to make the most of it, of having so little time, but what was worse was the fear of what it might do to him, if when this was over she pushed him away, that the pain he would feel would be like that she had felt when he stopped visiting her and began to distance himself from her as John began to court her. Worse still was the worry that she would rush herself because of the pressure of time and that she would come to hate him, as she apparently hated John or that he would come to discover she wasn't worth all the waiting she had put him though, that she would disappoint him. The thoughts cycled in her head, a malestrom of concerns, she barely noticed the tear leak from her eye until she felt his fingers brush it away.

He was about to ask what had upset her but something in her manner suggested that if he did, if she began to try and explain herself she might break entirely under the pressure of her emotion. Instead he slid down off the chair to sit on the floor beside her, his hand slipping behind her to wrap around her waist, she began to stiffen, only to relax as he tugged her into him. Despite the turmoil of emotion she couldn't help but notice his shoulder fit neatly beneath her cheek and his arm was firm on her back, his head tilting down to press a kiss to her forehead.

"Just breathe, everything will feel better in the morning. You'll get through this, you are the bravest, smartest and absolutely the most all-around brilliant woman I've ever met." He murmured softly as he held her.

"But I'm so scared..." Her voice wobbled and the lump in her throat kept her from voicing more of her thoughts.

"That's okay, you're allowed to be scared, considering all that has happened I personally think you are coping astonishingly well, courage isn't about not being scared."

"It's about doing what is right despite being scared." She whispered back. "The problem is that I don't know what is right."

"We can't always know, where would the challenge be in that? You just have to do your best. It's all anyone can ask and we both know your best generally exceeds expectations." He teased gently, coaxing a smile out of her. As soon as he saw the beginnings of the smile tweak at her lips he shifted, his free arm shooting under her knees as he pulled his legs under him moving so that he was kneeling holding her off the floor before standing quickly. She shrieked slightly in surprise, wiggling to try and escape but he held her firmly and gently, careful not to drop her.

"Nikola!" He spun in a circle. "You promised to behave." He stopped, looking into her eyes, which while still glistening with tears held a spark of humour.

"Helen, if I was misbehaving you know there would be a lot less clothing involved." He leered, making her blush, but he let her down to stand anyway, the aim of shaking her out of whatever cycle of negativity she had become caught in having been achieved. He realised that they had been talking and then sitting for hours, it must be approaching dawn."Now, how about I get you into bed?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, earning him a slap on the shoulder as she slipped out of his arms. "Seriously though it is rather late, you might want some beauty sleep." He teased.

"I thought you said I was the most beautiful woman you know." Helen replied but began re-packing the basket.

"And that is entirely and unarguably true, but that's no reason to be complacent. I'm the most brilliant and intelligent man I know but I don't see that as a reason to stop trying to expand my knowledge, and thus humanity's knowledge, of new scientific principles." He pulled her hands away from the basket, turning her towards the bed with a little push. "I'll clear up, you just get settled." Helen stifled a yawn, but wandered over to her bed, slipping under the covers as she realised quite how tired she was, it was always like that, the need to sleep snuck up on her and she didn't quite realise it until someone mentioned it. By the time Nikola had packed everything up she seemed to be asleep, setting the things by the door he moved to the bed, sitting beside her he brushed a stray curl from her cheek, then slowly, so as not to wake her, he leaned down.

"Nikola." Her voice was a sleepy whisper that stopped him an inch away from kissing her cheek where his fingers had been, he froze, she turned, her eyes barely open as they met his, she lifted her head the tiniest bit to brush her lips against his. "Thank you for this evening." She said as she rested back against the pillow, her eyes closing. "Now would you mind leaving, I'm trying to sleep." The traces of humour in her voice and the slight quirk of her lips brought a smile to his face.

"I could always keep you company while you sleep, I'm told I make a good hot water bottle."

"Get out Nikola." He left, but as he closed the door behind him he couldn't keep the grin from his face, she had thrown him out, but that was a given as he couldn't be expected to leave her room willingly, what made his grin so very broad was the little smile which had lingered on her lips from his suggestion as she did so. His face dropped however as he recalled that they were working to return her to her former, or rather later, self, and that said Helen was less amused by his antics, with a sigh he headed towards the labs, he'd still love her though. He had loved her the moment he met her, the woman in the crimson dress hurrying through the autumn leaves, even more out of place at Oxford than he was, he loved her when she broke his heart by getting engaged to Druitt, he loved her when they had combined forces to hunt Adam, the unacknowledged leader of the five, and through the wars, he even loved her when she shot him, her unwavering moral compass compelling her to stop him in his attempts to take over the world. It was true that his heart swelled at the very thought that she might care for him in return but it did not matter which version of Helen would come of their efforts, it would be Helen, and he loved Helen. Despite the pang in his chest he set to work continuing his investigations into the machine which had changed her, making up for the time he had taken to bake and to spend with her, forcing himself to concentrate on the science and not the wider implications.


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own Sanctuary.

Sorry for the delay, coursework time at the moment :P But here it is...

Helen clenched her hands, then stretched her fingers, the exercise doing little to quiet the nerves dancing in her stomach. It was almost three, there was a tray of sandwiches in the fridge, the tea set was as prepared as it could be without the tea being likely to go cold. Her heart beat traitorously in her chest, she thought of Nikola's thoughtfulness last night and a flash of guilt went through her that she was so on edge about John's visit. She reminded herself that it was not only a few days ago that John had taken her out to dinner and told her over desert that he would like to be more than friends, his usually confident and commanding demeanour softened by tenderness, it was over a century and the fluttery feelings of a youthful infatuation had no place here. She rubbed her palms against her skirt and wondered if she had worn the right outfit, but there was no time to change now, the sound of knocking on the door broke into her thoughts. She stepped forward to answer it.

"John, prompt as always, the others are in the study." The firm jaw and clean shaven head was as stark a reminder as she could ask for that he wasn't as he had been, she was able to keep her voice cool and polite, a small curve to her lips as she gestured for him to come in.

"Good afternoon Helen, I must say you are looking quite splendid today, that colour is most fetching on you, it brings out your eyes wonderfully." She closed the door behind him and he claimed her hand as she went to move past him back towards the study, lifting it as he bent to kiss it, his lips lingering slightly before he straightened, still not releasing her hand until she removed it from his.

"Very original Johnny." Nikola commented from the doorway. "All entirely true of course but you are supposed to be here for the meeting first and compliments over tea afterwards." His tone was wry and John's eyes narrowed as they glared at each other.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand proper etiquette in visiting a lady." John practically growled, sending an unpleasant chill down Helen's spine. "But as it happens I do have some information that might be quite useful." He grinned darkly, confident that his discovery would impress Helen.

"Then, by all means, let us go in." Helen spoke, stepping between the two men and walking firmly towards Nikola and the door to the study behind him. "I think we have dallied in the entrance hall quite long enough." John hurried to catch up to her entering behind her as Nikola closed the door behind them. John claimed the chair closest to Helen, a gloating smirk sent in Nikola's direction as he was left with the chair opposite her, Nikola just raised an eyebrow and smirked back, thinking of their closeness the night before. Helen on the other hand was less than amused by their antics. "I was wondering how your progress was coming along Nikola?" The sweet innocent smile told him that she knew he had not made much progress, it was hard to get far when they didn't have the actual machine or it's schematics, he scowled at her. "Henry?" She asked.

"I was able to figure out how they go about setting up the bases and I think I can try and guess where they're setting up shop next, I'm working on tracing back their finances, see if we can find out where they're getting their funding. I still can't tell why though, I mean there's lots of people who would welcome an advantage over the great Helen Magnus but nobody seems to be trying to press it, they don't seem to care about making us weak, so I'm not sure what their plan is."

"Collecting abilities, Helen's longevity is quite the prize." John commented. "I was able to find out who we're looking for." He was happy at the attention the comment gained him, especially Nikola's glare and Helen's surprise. "They have been capturing abnormals of various kinds for their experiments, Helen is the only one to have survived the procedure. My source was quite informative once I had persuaded him to talk." Helen stifled the shiver that wanted to pass through her at the darkness in his voice, surely he wasn't sitting in her study talking so casually about torture? She must be misinterpreting it? "They are attempting to place multiple abilities from multiple abnormals into a single subject, the process of removing their abilities generally destroys the abnormal, in Helen's case the hypothesis is that as she was human before she was injected with the source blood she reverted to that state, whilst the others were born abnormal. They were planning to board a plane to another laboratory they have set up in Germany, but he didn't know where. Still reckon you could manage without me?" He asked, directing his question at Will.

"Yes, but thank you for the information anyway, it will be very helpful, I'm sure Henry will be able to narrow that down." He shot a glance at Henry who nodded and began tapping away at his pad, putting the data into the search system he had been setting up.

"Now if there's nothing more you need me for, I believe Helen and I had plans?" He smirked again at Nikola as he stood, extending a hand towards Helen. She shot a questioning look towards Will, if she was needed, he shrugged. She placed her hand in John's, allowing him to lead her from the room wincing slightly at the look Nikola gave her.

He sat ever so slightly too close on the couch that he had seated them on in the living room, the warmth of his knee seeping through the fabric against her own and his reluctance to let go of her hands were indicative of the intimacy he seemed to want. "Helen." His voice was soft, but deep as he said her name, yet still there was an undercurrent of danger, for all that his lips smiled his eyes were calculating, it was all about the hunt.

"John." She replied, allowing a hint of a smile to her lips despite the tightness in her back.

"It must be such a shock for you, coming here, when was the last thing you remember before this?" He spoke in a soothing tone but he was looking for an edge, Helen swallowed, deciding to stick with the polite tone she had always used for small talk.

"The evening when we were to inject ourselves with the source blood. Two days after you asked my permission to court me." Her voice was soft and her eyes down, focused on her lap. He smiled, thinking that here, alone, and obviously younger than the woman he was used to, he might be able to manipulate her more successfully.

"I would still very much like to." She couldn't help the flutter that comment brought to her chest, but he mind slipped back to last night and the tender way in which Nikola had cared for her, her needs coming above his desire for more, though he had not hidden it from her.

"I... I'll get the tea." She muttered, rising to do so just as there was a knock on the door, standing halfway between the couch and the door she glanced back to John, who raised an eyebrow and shrugged. She opened it.

"You forgot to get these from the kitchen Doc." Henry said smiling, the tea tray in his hands. "Did you want me to get the cake and stuff as well?"

"Thank you Henry but no. I think if Nikola had intended it for John I'm quite sure it wouldn't be safe to eat."

"Tesla made that? It's got half a dozen layers."

"Five, and yes, yesterday." Realisation crossed Henry's face, causing confused frustration to cover John's, a black anger that he quickly hid. "If you want you can ask him if he would mind you and William having a piece, so long as there is some left for me to have after dinner." Helen said shutting the door before putting the tray on the table.

"Nikola Tesla behaving domestically? I never thought I'd see the day." John's rumble was low, his eyes on Helen to see her reaction to his behaviour.

"He has learned some things in the last few decades, I assume that is one of the best aspects of an extended lifespan, the opportunity to continue to learn new things." She sat slightly further from him than before, not so much as to be obvious but enough that she couldn't feel the warmth of his knee through her skirt. Her voice was mild, non-committal but he'd known her long enough to see the slight traces of disapproval at his attitude.

"Helen," He smiled at her, capturing her hand again, "you always were more progressive than me when it came to gender roles, a woman ahead of her time. But please, I asked to speak with you to explain myself, my actions, the things you have been told about me, I want you to believe that they were not my fault."

"You were under the influence of a destructive spiritual entity similar to the religious descriptions of a possessing demon which removed your inhibitions and magnified your darkest desires. Is that an accurate summation? I asked Henry to explain this morning." She struggled not to smile at the surprise on his face as she handed him a cup of tea. "I am not overly concerned by your past actions John, I am however by how they have changed you, and how you might act in the future."

"They haven't changed anything Helen, I still love you."

"John. People change, the events of even the past few days, of being here in such a strange place, I can only imagine the impact they have had on yourself and Nikola, and barely guess at the changes they must have wrought on me, did you realise fully half of the clothes in my wardrobe these days show not only ankle but knee? And most of the others are trousers. I cannot, and will not, expect you to be the same as you were then, pretending that you are will only make it harder to acquaint myself with who you have become."

"And Nikola hasn't changed? I don't suppose he's told you about when he nearly killed you in Rome, or his various attempts to take over the world."

"He has changed." Her eyes dropped to her lap and a slight blush graced her cheeks unbidden at the thought of the kiss they had shared the night before, evidence more than anything else of how he'd changed. "But this is not about him."

"Helen, he's turning you against me, we had something so very special..." His pleading tone had a undercurrent of anger, which sent an unpleasant shiver down her spine.

"John, it is your actions which lead to my caution on behalf of the residents here, and will be your behaviour, not his, which shapes my opinion of you. Aside from which there is every likelihood the matter will be rendered moot in a matter of days when my memory is restored, and with it whatever opinion I had formed of you from your behaviours."

"Do you really need the memories back Helen? There's so many painful stories there that I would rather you not have to carry with you." He seemed concerned, but the words rang hollow, Helen might have less experience of the world than her counterpart but she also didn't have the remnants of the love she had borne him to help in his deceptions. He was hardly hiding the fact that he wanted to attempt a relationship with her again, but something in the cool and casual way he suggested it indicated he might be hiding something from her. He knew something about the process or its reversal, something about her memories. She could hardly accuse him of it though, and as for working out what it was he knew... she bit her lip briefly, but decided not to dig into it, and hope he might let more slip without realising. "Are you so desperate to return to the way things were, alone with only the sanctuary to give your life meaning?" His soft voice was intended to be persuasive, but it merely made her feel even less at ease.

"I give my life meaning John, I will do everything I can to retrieve those memories and that aspect of myself because the team wants and needs its leader back, and because it is the right thing to do, however much it may frighten me. My feelings for yourself or Nikola are incidental to the matter. I hope you will not attempt to persuade me further on the matter."

"Oh I know quite well how stubborn you can be when you choose to be Helen, I wouldn't dream of trying to dissuade you." Again she could see a meaning beneath his words, a knowledge, something which led him to be unconcerned by the prospect. "But if you should find the memories cannot be recovered? Would you consider my affections then?" He smirked his hand gripping hers again, almost possessively, the breath caught in her throat at the heat in his eyes as he stared at her. "I should very much like your permission to court you again." Though it was a statement it hung in the air like a question.

"We shall see what happens. I should warn you that I understand Nikola to be of similar intentions." She tried to keep her voice as neutral as possible, as if merely discussing the weather but the tightening of his hand on hers as she spoke was almost painful, before he loosened his grip consciously and pressed a kiss to her hand.

"A little competition from the Serb will not dissuade me Helen, you have always been a prize worthy of my efforts." The dark undertone to his confident statement made her worry about Nikola's safety but she forced herself to smile at the intended compliment. "Might I invite you to join me on a picnic tomorrow? I remember how you love to relax in the outdoors and there is a spot I would like to take you to with an extraordinary view."

"I should expect that would be acceptable. Provided there no immediate issues arise to conflict with the arrangement. Would you like me to prepare a basket for us?" She kept her tone light, but she knew Nikola would hate to know she would be spending time with John. The only way to decide what to do about the two of them would be to gather more information and she couldn't do that if she spent the entire time concerning herself more over their feelings than investigating what her own might be.

"Please, allow me to, I have recently noticed that it may not only be men whose hearts may be reached through the stomach." The wryness in his voice pulled a small smile from her.

"I will look forward to it, shall we say noon?"


	11. Chapter 11

I do not own Sanctuary

Nikola found her in the garden, it was dark and beginning to get cold but when the children began to panic about where she might be he'd known exactly where to look. He draped the blanket he'd been carrying around her shoulders before sitting beside her, taking her hands in his to breathe on them and chafe the warmth back into them. How long had she been sitting here staring at the water flowing past? Her eyes were dry but he could almost hear the thoughts churning in her head.

"What did he say?" He asked softly.

"He asked my permission to try and court me again. If I don't regain my memories, he seemed fairly certain I wouldn't, though he didn't say as much." She looked at his face as she spoke, observing his reactions. Gently he released her hands and moved to sit down beside her, but not as close as he might usually take the opportunity to, as if distancing himself slightly, she saw his carefree mask come into place over his features, as if it made no difference, though she knew that simply meant that he was expecting the worst.

"And what did you say?" His tone, curious but uninterested, as if he had simply asked her what she'd thought of a book he'd leant her.

"I told him that you seemed to have expressed an interest as well. That is... I don't mean to presume an understanding... You are..." She swallowed, the impassive curious mask Tesla was wearing giving her little in the way of encouragement. "I don't want to make the same mistake I seem to have made before and enter a relationship blindly, without considering my options."

"So I'm an option you want to consider. I quite understand. Why would I be the port." His comment was cold, quiet.

"No, Nikola, I didn't mean it like that." She grabbed his sleeve as he stood to leave. "Please Nikola." He shook her off, about to storm away when he saw the tears in her eyes. He froze, just outside of arms reach.

"I'll go to London, continue my work from the Sanctuary there. I just can't stand by and watch you fall for him again."

"I wouldn't ask you to. It's just... I was foolish not to notice your feelings before, now I can't claim ignorance, and... I won't refuse him without due consideration."

"Don't you mean you won't refuse me without consideration this time, you'll consider it first. How nice." The bitterness in his tone spoke of a long ache, and depressed angry acceptance that he would always be second to Druitt.

"No, I mean what I said. Something about him seems wrong now, he feels dangerous, cold, possessive. But I barely know who he has become, I owe it to him, if only for the sake of what we once had, to at least give him the opportunity to show me who he is now, to allow him to show me those sides of himself which he has yet to display. I do not think I like what has become of him but I will not ignore the possibility, even if it means that in refusing him I will be alone." She pulled the blanket tighter about herself. "I will understand if you still wish to leave."

"You would rather be alone than with Druitt?" The thread of hope was painfully bright.

"I need to consider things with an open mind..." She met his eyes and saw the insecurity there. "I believe so. He... is not who he once was, and I have a greater awareness of matters than I did."

"I think you're just keeping Johnny around so I have to compete for your affections." He teased lightly, although she could tell he was having trouble believing she might prefer him and was partly serious in his comment.

"I never wanted you to compete for me. It is not about being better than the other, it is merely a case of me investigating my emotions and seeking to find the right fit for myself. I became interested in him before because he was well bred, well spoken, he had my father's approval and he expressed an interest where I had begun to fear my outspoken nature might prevent it. You are Serbian, have a tendency towards inappropriate comments, were disliked by my father and had yet to reveal any feelings on the matter. It is small wonder that in a competition he won, but we both know how well that worked out. Love..." She paused briefly, as if startled by the word coming from herself before forcing herself to continue. "Love is not as simple as a list of merits and flaws, it is a connection deeper than circumstance or title. At least I believe it to be. If you choose to make it a competition you will both lose, for the one most precious thing I have always treasured in you is your treatment of me as an equal, capable of my own decisions, not as a prize or possession. Please don't lose that in your hatred of John." He had never been able to refuse her when she looked at him like that with such pleading in the blue depths of her eyes.

"Fine. But don't expect me to be nice to him. At least he's gone for now until Wednesday." Nikola said taking one of Helen's hands and starting to walk her back to the house.

"Um... Actually he's taking me on a picnic tomorrow..." They walked in silence for a few moments, but at least he didn't try and pull his hand away. Tiring of the tension Helen dropped his hand, for a moment he tensed until he felt her arm slip about his waist and tentatively draped his over her shoulders, they walked together like that back into the building. He knew he should return to the workshop but when he got in the elevator and she pushed the button for the residential level he simply went with her, all the way to her door. He wasn't sure what he was expecting to happen when they got there, but it certainly wasn't for her to simply push the door open with her free hand and continue in, without comment. She sat them on the edge of the bed, her head still resting on his shoulder. They remained there for several long moments before either spoke.

"Do you remember our Thursday picnics, when we both had a free afternoon from classes, how we'd always end up sitting and feeding the crumbs to the pigeons?" Nikola asked gently.

"Somehow I think tomorrow will be very different, John hates pigeons, he called them vermin. Also he said the view is going to be extraordinary. The college gardens, while quite pretty, weren't exactly special in any way other than the peace and happiness to be found there."

"The most special thing about them was always you." He squeezed her a little tighter.

"Has anyone ever told you that you are quite the dramatic romantic at times?" Helen teased, raising her head as she did so.

"Not that I recall." He was surprised when she shifted suddenly, her mouth on his without a breath of warning. The kiss was passionate but brief. The pressure of it leaving his lips tingling slightly. There was barely time for her to blink before he closed the gap between them again, his hand slipping under her hair to tangle in her golden curls. When the second kiss finally broke she was almost sitting in his lap and neither were entirely sure who was responsible for the movement. "If I was a dramatic romantic I would tell you I have loved you from the very moment I set eyes on you. It would be the truth, but while I never want you to doubt my feelings for you I have no intention of asking permission to court you." He smirked at the little frown on her face. "Helen. Since when have I ever asked permission to do the things I consider truly important?"

"Or anything else for that matter." She muttered with a little smile. "Do you truly mean it, that you have loved me for so very long?"

"There are only two things which I am certain of, and which I consider immutable facts about the world. That I am a genius destined to improve the world immeasurably by the mere presence of my greatness..." she laughed slightly at that, not mockingly but appreciating his flair for melodrama, "and that the only person more important, vital and precious than my wondrous self, is you. Always you."

"Even when I shot you? Even when I was with John? Even when I... if I snore?"

"Every moment. I hated John of course, but never you, I couldn't, I hated that I couldn't but I could never hate you. As for your snore, it's adorable, reminds me that you're human, too much perfection can't be healthy in a person after all." He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose as she blushed. "It's like the tiniest, cutest little piglet whispering to its piglet friend about a little piggy secret." Part of him cringed at the soppy sweetness pouring from him, but mostly he was too busy enjoying the way she buried her face into his shoulder at his teasing. She mumbled something, but even with his vampiric hearing it was smothered in his shoulder. "Hmmm?"

"I wish I was as sure, about anything." She muttered, loud enough for him to hear this time, although she kept her face hidden. "I care about you Nikola, I always have, ever since you first asked me to explain biology to you, and offered to help me with physics. I care deeply, but..."

"But it isn't love?" He didn't pull away this time. "Not yet?" He held onto the admission of affection, of closeness, focused on the possibility.

"It might be, it might have always been, but I don't know. I don't know yet, not the way you seem to, perhaps I'm just afraid, if I... what if I hurt you, if after waiting for so long... if my memories are returned and we lose this, whatever it is, if you leave again." He held her tighter, one hand rubbing against her back soothingly.

"Hush now, I have survived many things in my life, us vampires are practically invulnerable, I promise you, no matter what you say, do or feel, I will find a way to live with it and I will still love you. Please don't upset yourself like this."

"Hey, good, you found her." Henry burst in the door. "Erm... is everything okay?" Helen pulled herself straight, gathering the blanket more closely around herself again.

"I... never mind. What is your news? Has something happened?"

"I found the lab, the new one, Will's going to call Druitt so we can get there faster... We need to be ready to go as soon as possible."

"Thank you Henry, I'll be downstairs as quickly as I can." He nodded, darting out the room. "Whatever happens..."

"I meant what I said Helen." Nikola said softly as he began to stand, she grabbed him, her slender fingers pulling his face back to hers.

"I know. Thank you Nikola, for everything, for being my friend, for caring for me, for loving me despite all that I've done, all that I've failed to do. Thank you for giving me so much love and never asking for more than I could give. Whatever happens, whatever comes of this, I think... I believe I... I... I might just..." the words stuck in her throat and taking pity on her he kissed her again, deeply and verging on desperately, wanting to burn this moment into his memory.

"It will be fine Helen. You don't have to say this now, I can wait, I've had a lot of practice at waiting." He smiled softly, his heart full simply that she might try and say what he hoped she intended to say.

"But if I don't, if I change."

"You will still be you, and I will still love you, whatever your opinion on the matter, it's the one thing even you could never convince me to stop. I don't want you to say it because you feel you need to, it will mean more when you are certain of yourself. I'll see you downstairs." He hurried off to prepare for the next few hours, aware of the pain of wrenching himself away from her, and from the feelings he had so desperately wanted returned by her, that they may never be like this again, but she needed him to be strong. He would never put his feelings above her well being, he forced himself to focus on the task at hand, refusing to let his pain distract him.


	12. Chapter 12

I do not own Sanctuary. Apologies for the shortness of this chapter, exam time at the moment.

Loathe as Nikola was to praise Druitt for anything he had to admit Johnny was useful when it came to getting places in a hurry. It took them fifteen minutes to be ready to leave and less than that again for it to all be over. The entry was fast and brutal, the vampire and the serial killer cutting a swathe through their enemies, literally. Will, Henry and Helen took down the stragglers and those shooting from higher positions. When they reached the laboratory itself the doctor tried to run again, but this time they were too quick for him, Druitt had him pinned to the wall with one hand on his throat, the other held a knife to his cheek. Tesla flexed his fingers, longing to get his hands on the doctor, but he swallowed his need to out do John's aggression, instead focussing on the machine, hoping to discover its secrets so he could confirm or refute anything the doctor said. He shot Helen a small smile as she passed, moving to stand behind Druitt to talk with their captive.

"How do we reverse the procedure?" John growled.

"You can't. I already have her power."

"And my memories? You took them too." Helen demanded, but the abnormal simply laughed. He looked different than he had before, his teeth were sharper, and his eyes reptilian, clearly Helen's immortality hadn't been the only abnormality he had added to himself. "I want my life back." She stepped forward but she failed to frighten him. He just smirked widely, suddenly there was a burst of light and intense pressure and Helen found herself thrown back, her head cracking against the floor as things went dark. Only Nikola managed to maintain consciousness, his head ringing as he stumbled towards the doctor before he could leave.

"Oh I've been wanting to get you alone. The last vampire." He grabbed Nikola roughly plunging a syringe into his arm. He realised that the doctor intended to sedate him and in his dazed state instinct took over and his claws extended as he pushed him away. There was a gurgling sound as the doctor collapsed, then the sedative kicked in and Nikola slipped out of consciousness.

When he awoke he was in the medical room at the Sanctuary, Henry was sat by his side looking decidedly bored as he tried to work something out on a datapad.

"Helen?" He asked, worried, he would have expected, or at least hoped, that she would be there rather than Henry.

"She's assisting Biggie, they're fixing up the doc, you got him pretty good."

"He was going to take me." Henry nodded as if they had guessed as much.

"I'm supposed to tell you to stay here until they're done in surgery and can give you a proper check up. Want something to read? I pulled as much data from the machinery as possible so we can try and figure it all out, you've been out over an hour so Will sat with you while Druitt and I cleared out the database and took pictures, then he went back to the office." Henry offered a second pad to Nikola, with a terse nod he took it, skimming through the images and blueprints. It was impressive technology, clearly drawing from both human and praxian influences. He was quickly convinced that he could restore her abilities if he could extract them from the doctor, and that doing so would only restore him to his original state, not destroy him entirely, her memories would be a different matter. The main concern, as far as he could tell, would be separating her immortality from the other abnormalities the doctor had acquired. It all hinged on whether he would live long enough for them to test the process...


	13. Chapter 13

I do not own Sanctuary. Sorry for the long time between updates, it's been exams, last one is actually tomorrow, but I thought I'd put a short update now, and maybe get a few suggestions on where they go next (bit stumped).

Helen looked tired when she finally came in to see him, her hair was escaping from her bun but she managed a comforting smile which both men readily returned.

"Thank you Henry."

"No problem Doc, how's the patient."

"We've stabilised the abnormal, I am here to give Nikola a check up. It is late, you should go to bed, the blueprints will still be here in the morning." Henry smothered a yawn.

"I'm okay, I can put in a few more hours."

"Henry." Helen said disapprovingly, he seemed about to give in before she found herself struggling not to yawn, they both laughed. "I think we could both use some sleep, and I will go to bed directly after I finish checking on Nikola's condition, it should not take long."

"If you want to go to bed first I certainly wouldn't mind relocating for the physical." Nikola commented, looking up from the data pad to disapproving glares from Henry and Helen. "Well it was worth suggesting."

"At least we can be fairly certain nothing is wrong with his mind, at least nothing that wasn't already." Henry commented. "See you in the morning Doc. If he gives you any trouble, just threaten to stop restocking the wine cellar."

"She would never do anything so hateful." Nikola responded. "Off to bed now Heinrich, and do make sure William goes to bed as well, it's past your bedtime."

"See you tomorrow Henry." He left with a little wave to Helen.

"Nikola, do you have to get into arguments with everyone?" She shook her head, looking over the notes before taking Nikola's pulse, it was slightly elevated from his standard resting, but nothing too concerning.

"I don't argue with everyone."

"You're arguing with me right now. You are always provoking Henry and William, and can't remember a single conversation you have had with John or James in which you have managed to remain civil throughout."

It did not take her long to run through the basics, there didn't seem to be any reason for concern. "I think that will be everything, you should be free to leave but let me know immediately if you feel any adverse effects, we think he might have used Praxian Foltean Beetle extract and estimated dosage, it should have cleared your system but we don't really know how it effects vampires." Helen stifled another yawn.

"Allow me to walk you to your chamber, if I remember rightly we were in the middle of a conversation. It would mean that you could keep me under observation for a little longer Doctor Magnus." Nikola took her arm, his other hand coming to rest on top of hers. "Do you think you will still be going on a picnic with Johnny in..." he looked at his watch, "roughly six hours?"

"I shall endeavour to be somewhat presentable for it, I cannot say that I will be likely to be in quite the mood for spectacular views or what I can only imagine the food will be but I shall attempt to show some appreciation of the effort. Don't scowl, it is only polite, and besides he has been very helpful, somewhat suspiciously so but helpful nonetheless."

"If I'd known being helpful would be rewarded I might be helpful more often."

"You are helpful Nikola, unfortunately you are also the cause of rather a lot of trouble, expensive to keep in wine and have a tendency towards damaging not only the laboratories but also several of my favourite dresses and, if I remember correctly, the painting I was making for fathers day last... well anyway, the problem is that your problem solving abilities are somewhat offset by your problem causing abilities." Despite the catch in the middle the affectionate humour caused him to return her smile.

"So then there's no hope for me? I might as well just give up now!" His melodramatic response was exactly what she had expected of him, and played up for comedy.

"Well I suppose if you can't earn my attention through gratitude you will simply have to be charming enough that I'll want to spend time with you for the enjoyment of it." She teased, resting her head against his shoulder as she did so, sending a spread of warmth through him. The feeling reminded him of what she had said about competition, that she did not want to be a prize to be fought over, he realised that as much as he had thought that his deepest desire was to earn Helen's admiration, it was far better to be given her affection freely for being himself. He couldn't quite believe yet that she really would choose to be with him over Druitt, but perhaps, perhaps she had a point that love was not something to be won or owned, earned or deserved, but shared, given freely and returned freely. As thoughtlessly natural as breathing, or the beating of a heart.

The alarm went off at eleven, not nearly long enough after she had gone to sleep, still Helen dragged herself out of the bed and into a pale blue dress with white lace at the bodice and cuffs and putting her hair up artfully. She had barely finished a cup of tea when there was knocking at the door, as usual exactly on time, though she had rather been hoping he wouldn't be, she always found she moved a little slower when she lacked sleep.

"Hello John, I hope you have had a good morning?"

"I have, although I have every expectation this afternoon will far surpass it, if only for the pleasure of your company. Shall we?" He extended his hand to her and she took it, allowing him to transport them.


	14. Chapter 14

I do not own Sanctuary. Exams are now over! YAY! So updates might hopefully be a bit more regular (although it's all up to those fickle muses... I mean lovely and beautiful muses...).

Helen was surprised when they arrived to find it dark, and a little chilly, with the moon high overhead, but she was certainly impressed by the view. The blanket lay mere steps from a river, on the far side of which pale marble glowed in the moonlight, the slender spired and peaked dome breathtakingly beautiful.

"The Taj Mahal, built almost four hundred years ago but the Muslim ruler of the region for his wife, he promised to make her a monument to match her beauty." John's voice was close behind her, but she only had eyes for the vision before her.

"Father had sent me a sketch he had made of it on his travels, but it could never do the place justice, he said that the walls were inscribed with their holy words and inset with jewels." Helen couldn't help but feel James' absence, he was the one she could share her love of architecture and historical civilisations with, she wondered if they had ever taken that trip to Egypt they had been idly discussing as something to do after Oxford. "It is hard to imagine the woman who could have inspired it."

"I imagine she must have been almost as beautiful as you Helen." His voice, so close to her ear, made her realise that his hands had come to rest on her waist, and she stepped forward, out of his arms, instantly feeling the loss of his warmth in the chill night air. As beautiful as the setting was, he might have mentioned that it would have been wise to wear a coat, rather than a dress more suited to a summer afternoon. It was frustrating that he had chosen a place so far from the building itself, a splendid overview of course, and romantic, but Helen longed to explore it, with James or her Father, neither of whom she would see again, and read its walls, limited though her understanding of Arabic was (she was still in the process of learning). She chose a place on the blanket and sat gracefully, spreading her skirt about her, intent on distracting herself from the chill and the melancholy by focusing on the meal.

Nikola was certain that the reason everything had fallen into place that morning and he'd been able to figure out the machine so quickly was simply so that he would have time to get well and truly aggravated by waiting for Helen's return, and so that he would have nothing to distract him from torturous thoughts of where they may have gone, and what they might be doing. It was almost five! How long could one picnic take? Of course that thought prompted a load more worries, worse than her having fun with Druitt, what if he was holding her somewhere and refusing to bring her back? He was pacing in the main hall, trying to decide whether to storm up to Helen's office and demand that Dr Expendable mount a rescue when he heard voices on the doorstep. He was torn between wanting to hear and not wanting to seem like he was snooping, or had been waiting for them. He settled on going into the kitchen to get himself some wine, knowing that it's proximity would allow him to hear most of the conversation from the foyer.

"Thank you John, I am sure I can manage from here."

"I'm so sorry Helen, please allow me to make it up to you."

"No, not at all, it was certainly an interesting trip and I will be fine, thank you." The door closed and Nikola exited the kitchen.

"Oh good, you're..." he was going to say 'back' but the words trailed off, "you're soaking wet."

"And rather chilled." Helen replied, shivering slightly.

"And you smell of..."

"Venice. A lovely city but the canals are not the cleanest place for a swim." Helen's tone was wry but the smirk on Nikola's face earned him a glare.

"Much as I appreciate the effect the water has had on your dress, we need to get you out of those wet clothes and into a warm bath before you catch a cold or something."

"I think I can manage that bit by myself Nikola. I will drop by your laboratory when I am finished, it has been a... very eventful few hours." Helen walked off, water dripping onto the floor behind her, once the elevator doors were safely closed Nikola allowed himself to finally laugh.

Henry went to make himself another coffee and found Helen in the kitchen. Her hair still damp and the kettle just about to boil.

"I was going to make myself a cup of tea and then come down to the laboratory, how are things going?"

"Pretty well, we think we know how it works now, and we know how things stand. How did things go with Druitt? Tesla said you fell out a gondola?"

Nikola recognised her laughter in the hallway before she arrived, and tried to squash the surge of jealousy before the pair could enter the room.

"I thought a picnic was supposed to involve going somewhere and relaxing, how many places did he take you?" Henry asked as they walked in the door.

"Five, honestly I think it might not have ended then if I hadn't fallen in! But every stop I kept wishing someone was there. It was lovely, and romantic, but it just felt like too much, and like something was missing."

"Oh Helen, don't tell me you missed me?" Nikola enquired, smirk firmly in place.

"Actually not so much," she smiled, patting his shoulder as his face dropped a little, "don't take it personally, it's just that mostly I missed James and my father. First there was the Taj Mahal, which was spectacular, but made me wish I could explore it properly with James, and reminded me of the letters my father wrote to me, do you recall? And the Dover coast reminded me of the field trip to the seaside to collect whelk samples, when Nigel ended up getting into that fight with Michael Jones, which later turned out to be over some comment about bathing suits."

"Ah, I remember. I almost gave the fellow a thrashing later when Nigel told me what it had been about, but Druitt had beaten me to it, and he was looking decidedly worse for wear already."

"Visiting the Eiffel Tower at sunset was delightful, and all the lights spread out below made the city itself almost seem alive, with its own pulse, it was a relief because I wasn't forced to deal with memories the entire time, but John does not have the best taste in wines, and I will admit I could have thought of better company for the setting." There was a slight blush at Nikola's grin but she continued uninterrupted. "Then a lovely forest glen, which would have been nice except that it reminded me that I had yet to ask Henry about being a werewolf, and I wondered whether he enjoyed runs through the forest, it was blessedly warm though, I was thoroughly chilled by that point, the night air, then the sea breeze, followed by the fresh air at altitude, I spent a good deal of time wishing I had been warned to bring a coat, and rather suspecting that he had been hoping I might sit more closely with him for the warmth. Finally he suggested a spot of boating, much as we might go along the Oxe in punts of a summer afternoon, and you know how the Venetian Gondola worked out, transporting onto a small craft is to be greatly avoided where possible."

"So in short a disaster?" Nikola's grin was more than a little irritating, but Helen's glare failed to make a dent in it. Until Helen sneezed anyway. "Here, take this." He handed her his handkerchief and then seated her on the couch, wrapping the blanket which still lay beside it about her, his arm remaining about her shoulders in a loose embrace.

"They were certainly very romantic places and it was an impressive gesture to have prepared so much so quickly." Helen replied defensively. "Although perhaps a little more thought and a little less extravagance might have been called for." She admitted. "Fine, if you must insist on the brutal honesty it was the worst afternoon I can recall which was intended to be enjoyable. But I do wish you wouldn't gloat so, it's most unbecoming in you."


	15. Chapter 15

I do not own Sanctuary. I am sorry about the long delay, I have no idea why, just happened...

"Well it might not be perfect but this is the best we can manage without a viable test subject, we should at the very least be able to restore the effects of the source blood. I hope."

"Nikola. You admit you don't know what you're doing and you want to just try it out on Helen and hope it works?"

William and Nikola were arguing, almost as if Helen wasn't there and quite capable of hearing the discussion.

"I want to do it." The two men turned to her, both somewhat shocked by her interruption. "This is the best way to restore me to who I was before, the person you both need me to be."

"Helen no." Nikola's protest would have been surprising, given that he'd been arguing for just that moments before, but his concern as he moved beside her overshadowed that. "I will never ask you to be anything other than yourself, don't feel the need to do this on my behalf, I assure you I am most definitely happy with how things are at the moment." The slight leer brought a scowl to Will's face, but teased a smile from Helen.

"You are certain that you have studied the machine to the full extent that you can without an actual experiment?" Nikola nodded. "Then there is only one thing for it. Do you not agree? We took the blood serum with far less certainty of the results I am sure, sometimes theory will only take you so far before practicality must be considered. There is no other option and I will not have it said that when it came to the point where courage was called for I was found wanting."

"You don't have to do this." Will commented.

"Thank you, but the time has come for a leap of faith. I have faith in you Nikola, as you so often tell me, you are brilliant." She smiled softly, her hand coming to rest on his and along with the warmth her touch sent through him came the fear which settled in his stomach, familiar despite the decades between, it was the same as he had felt that night long ago. He had never been scared in quite the same way for anyone else he realised. "Now let us begin the procedure before I lose my nerve."

He could not help but admire the way Helen moved into the heart of the machine, not a sign of hesitation, even as she turned to face him, her eyes focusing on his own and the small nod for him to press the button. His hand clenched as the machine began and her scream echoed through the chamber, he had to force himself not only to let it continue but also prevent Will from interrupting the process. It would be changing her on a basic level and every molecule of her body would be enduring the forces of the machine, but he could do nothing, nothing but think of the one time he had felt this helpless before, another time when at her insistence he had subjected her to untested scientific experiment.

It was just over a minute but it felt longer. Eventually it whirred to a stop and he hurried forward, to help her up, her legs trembling.

"How do you feel Helen?"

"Most... peculiar." She looked up to him. "Nikola, I don't think it worked properly, I... I still don't remember clearly, it's all jumbled."

"Just relax Helen, it might take you some moments to adjust, breathe deeply." While part of him was happy that she hadn't pulled away from him in disgust as she had so many times before, he had honestly wanted this to work, for her sake.

"If you scrambled her brain Tesla..."

"Yes, yes, hellfire and damnation." Nikola waved off Will's comment distractedly, his attention on Helen. "How are you feeling, not just the memory, are you hurt?"

"No, merely... disorientated. It is an odd sensation, but the pain from the machine has receded entirely. We should adjourn to the infirmary, I am sure Biggie will want to assure us all of my health."

"Well at least she didn't lose any more memories." Will muttered as he moved to support her other side.


	16. Chapter 16

I do not own Sanctuary.

I'm very sorry for abandoning this story, and my other one for those of you who read both, I sort of fell apart a bit last year, in general. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to add to this story, or if I'll add to the other one, but I figured it couldn't hurt to try...

Her head ached as she lay on the infirmary sheets, the same room Nikola had awoken in only a day or so previously, at least she assumed it was so short a time, having passed out on the way there it was hard to tell. At least she could remember the time since the first experience of the machine, hopefully, though again it was hard to be certain of anything. She could hear arguing in the hallway.

"I told you we shouldn't have tested unknown technology on her." That was William... Will, she recognised the voice.

"Well what would you have done instead Protege? This is Helen we're talking about, the woman is impossible once she has her mind set on something, now you may have nothing better to do than shout at me but some of us would rather work on a solution than pointing fingers." Nikola's response was sharp, bitter, she knew he would be blaming himself but he would be damned if he'd let anyone else say what he was already thinking, a soft smile came to her lips she tried to call out but her voice came out a bare rasp, she knew they might have heard it if they weren't so busy shouting at each other.

"We should see if she wakes up by herself before doing anything else." Biggie responded gruffly, Helen cleared her throat roughly and almost immediately Nikola was by the side of the bed, though he had stopped a few feet back, unsure how welcome he would be, the others piled into the room behind him, all looking very relieved that she was awake but nervous about what she might or might not remember.

"How are you feeling? Do you remember?" Will asked, pushing his way to the front by her bedside as John and Nikola shot wary glances at each other behind him.

"I do not believe so... I am sorry, but thank you for making the attempt Nikola." She reached out a hand to him, ignoring John's glare, but as he took it she couldn't help but think of the look of determined terror in his eyes as he had set the machine going and... "Wait... Nikola did I ask you to inject me with the serum?" The memory of his hand in hers as he pressed the plunger on the syringe... the look in his eyes. "I am so sorry Nikola, not once but twice I ask you to take my life in your hands knowing you would never forgive yourself if it were to go wrong."

"You remember that?" John asked, the surprise in his voice causing the others to glare at him suspiciously. Helen frowned slightly, thinking of how relaxed he had been about the possibility of her regaining her memory, he had never expected it to happen...

"I... I remember that... I suppose I must remember more, I simply cannot seem to recall properly, it is a jumble, and some parts are clearer and others are..." Her eyes widened, her mouth hanging in mid sentence as her fingers gripped Nikola's tightly, he squeezed back gently. "Ashley." The word was quiet, mournful and she swallowed hard, her other hand clasping across her stomach which felt devastatingly hollow with fresh grief, her eyes meeting John's and he vanished, just like that, the coward. Tears trembled in her eyes.

"Helen." Her eyes dropped to her lap, closing as the first tear slipped from her. Gently Nikola sat beside her on the bed, his arm hesitantly lying across her shoulders, as careful and delicate as if she were glass and might shatter, though he supposed she was already shattering.

"You utter cad." She spat bitterly as her face buried into his shoulder and her hand released his to thump against his chest, hard enough that it would have hurt a regular human. "You never told me she sacrificed herself for me." Her fists bunched in his shirt roughly as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Helen..." He stopped, as before, only able to say her name, the words stuck in his throat, what could he say? What was there to say? He could think of nothing which might soothe her, but his voice still spoke volumes despite the brevity, concern, sorrow, guilt, love, sympathy, they were all present, mingled together but no less strong for their mixing. He hadn't been there for her before, he had been focused on getting revenge for her, closure, and she had been in denial and then thrown back into her work at the sanctuary, but he hoped that now, perhaps, this flood of tears may actually be a sign of her finally dealing with her grief.


	17. Chapter 17

I do not own Sanctuary

Eventually the tears stopped, they had to sooner or later, but still they sat in silence, his arms around her. The others had excused themselves a while ago and his shoulder was soaked, but neither moved or spoke, the simple comfort of contact holding them there. Some time later, though it was hard to be sure how long, Biggie knocked on the door gently, and she tensed slightly before letting out a long sigh and pulling away from him, settling herself against the headboard of the bed.

"Come in." She said as Nikola sat himself in a chair by the bed, giving her space but not leaving.

"You need to eat." He said as he brought in a tray and set it on the table which he swung over the bed to rest above her lap. His gruff voice and manner did little to hide his concern.

"Thank you, old friend." He nodded as he made his way out of the door. Nikola fidgeted slightly, tugging his waistcoat straight, using the vain gesture in an attempt to cover his uncertainty over what to do next. Did he return to sitting by her, to holding her, as he wanted to, or was that just a moment of weakness, and now she'd go back to how she was before she lost her memories? He settled for lounging back into the chair, a false air of confidence.

"Feeling better?" He asked, his trademark smirk in place. "Not that I ever complain about holding you Helen." He leered, she swallowed and as her blue eyes met his he wished he could take it back, that he could be sincere with her, but she did always push him away, better to be prepared for it...

"Nikola..." Her voice was soft as she said his name, then hesitated, she changed her mind on what to ask. "Trying to take over the world?"

"Well if I couldn't have you then it seemed like the next best thing." He winked at her, surprised that she looked away, her eyes on her hands. "I knew you'd stop me..." Though he tried to pretend to himself that he was only telling her that he'd never really intended to rule the world, they could both see the truth behind it, that it was the reason he did it in the first place, so that she would stop him, her, it was all about her. "Helen..." She took a deep breath and he waited for her to speak.

"Did you mean what you said? The night before last in my room, before Henry came in." His eyes widened as he realised what she was asking about. He paused, wishing she would look at him, that he could know how to respond, the glib manner that he had so perfected, to let her indulge in her comfortable denial of their chemistry, or to risk honesty and the potential for awkwardness between them that he never wanted... Yet she was asking, she could have ignored it, pretended it had never happened, that was what he almost expected, either that or shooting him for it, but not discussing it, and in such a uncertain tone.

"Every word, from the moment that we first spoke until the day I die, and we both know how far away that could be, Helen, I..."

"I'm not her though..." She blurted out, interrupting him. "I've got the memories back, I think, but I'm not who they expect me to be, and I'm not the young me either, because I can remember, things I'd rather not, and things I never want to forget, and sometimes they're the same thing, but they don't quite feel right and I'm..."

"Helen. You are Helen. That hasn't changed, the rest you'll figure out." He stated firmly, reassuringly. He took her hand from where it rested on the bedspread and pressed a kiss to the back of it. "As for who they expect you to be, we both know the great Helen Magnus is not one to be defined by other people's expectations of her."

"Yes but..."

"But nothing." He tilted her chin so that she would look at him. "You are Helen and I love you." He leaned close to press a kiss to her cheek. She swallowed hard, nodding slightly as he released her chin. "Whether you want me to or not." He added with a slight grin.


	18. Chapter 18

I do not own Sanctuary.

Once she'd had a clear bill of health Helen had headed off to see about the mess the protégé had likely managed to get things into which meant Nikola had returned to his labs. He couldn't help but feel restless, but he didn't want to crowd her, she didn't need him hovering around her undermining her confidence when she was getting a grip on things again... still he had rather hoped she might stop by his lab at some point. He was not in the best of moods as he headed for the residential corridor that he and Helen shared, debating with himself whether to stop by Helen's room on the way past when he saw it, sitting in front of Helen's door, a picnic basket. He almost growled, thinking it to be some form of apology from Druitt, until he saw the note card resting on the lid, with his name on it... but who would leave a basket for him, let alone leave it at Helen's door. With a frown he opened it.

"In case you forget to bring snacks.

Helen."

His face broke into a grin, Helen, that minx. Scooping up the basket he was about to knock on the door when he remembered that last time she had left it unlocked, and the note was practically an invitation... with a smirk to himself he decided to try the handle which turned easily.

"Good evening Nikola." Helen commented, marking her place in the book she was reading and turned to smile at him, setting it aside she shuffled over slightly, patting the bed beside her, Nikola's eyes widened before filling with predatory amusement. He closed the door behind him softly and stalked towards the bed slowly, almost expecting Helen to change her mind. Her hair was caught back in a loose plait which left her throat bare and the rich blue silk she was wearing contrasted well with the bedding and her skin, more of which was on show than he expected as it dipped low across her chest.

"You forgot to make me promise to behave Helen..." He sat beside her, setting the basket down as he captured her hand, lifting it to his face he pressed a kiss to the pulse point on the underside of her wrist as his eyes met hers darkly. Her breath caught a little her gaze sparkling with mischievousness, under that traces of fear only heightened the excitement, she swallowed hard.

"I didn't forget." She breathed the words and his grin widened, his teeth nipped at the soft skin of her inner arm. "I trust you Nikola, and perhaps a LITTLE mischief wouldn't be too bad..." She blushed looking away as he raised an eyebrow.

"Why Miss Magnus, you honestly trust me to only be a little mischievous? How little you know me after all this time..." He let the desire he felt for her ripple through his voice, sending a shiver through her, there was a click as he used his abilities to lock the door. He reached around her to grip her further hip, shifting her closer to him so that their noses almost touched before raising a single finger of his other hand and beginning behind her ear trailing it slowly down her throat towards her cleavage, his eyes following it and the way that her breathing made her shift against him, his finger paused above her heart and his eyes came back up to meet hers "I plan on never letting you regret your mistake." His hand shot up to tangle in her curls as he moved forwards to claim her lips a part of him cheering inside as she responded by kissing him back just as fiercely.

A/N: And because this is a T rated fic, I'm going to stop there...


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